


The Life Of A Princess

by DisneyPrincess



Series: A Charmed Life [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Adventure, Behind These Walls, Castle life, Character Death, F/M, Romance, and a baby on the way, but hopefully things will get better, shitty married life, the sequal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 10:16:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5739835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisneyPrincess/pseuds/DisneyPrincess





	1. Little Bit Of You

Emma woke slowly as the same wave of bitter sweetness rolled over her. It was a familiar feeling, one she'd come to terms with recently. Instinctively, her hand slid to her stomach, as it did ever morning, and she caressed the flat expanse that made her simultaneously want to laugh and cry. Inside of her was a baby. A tiny little being that was half her, half Killian. And one day, she would welcome it into the world. Emma couldn't wait for that day. She couldn't wait to meet the result of their love. 

Emma could remember just weeks prior she had feared even the thought of being a mother, but as she felt her belly, she only felt anticipation and joy. The fear she felt, was at the thought that Killian would not be present for the birth. For the baby's life. That Baelfire would be the only father their child would grow to know. This fear leaked into every thought that should have been happy. 

She would begin arrangements for the nursery soon. She would rock her child in the same rocking chair her own mother had used, and the baby would fall asleep looking at the same mobile that had fascinated Emma as an infant. And each night Emma would brush aside their hair and kiss her child, her child, on his forehead and tell him how much she loved him. And Killian would not. 

Each night he would be somewhere else, far away or in the ground. And that baby would learn to call Neal father. Emma couldn't bear the thought of it and it brought tears to her eyes. Killian would not help her feed their son, or teach him how to walk, or comfort him when he cried. And he would not hold Emma lovingly as they fell asleep together. Not unless Emma could find a way to remedy her current situation.

And she would, if it was the last thing she did. 

So with grim determination, Emma wiped her eyes and pulled herself from her bed as she had every day for the last two weeks, and she ignored the man who lay still beside her. She and Baelfire shared chambers and a bed, it was only expected of them as husband and wife. And besides, Emma had to be smart. If it was discovered that her child was a bastard, then he would be rejected by society. She would not be with Baelfire when her baby was born, not if she could help it, but in order to secure it's future, she had to take certain measures. 

With a shiver, Emma remembered her wedding night. It had taken her the entire celebration to convince herself that it was necessary, but she'd made up her mind by the time Baelfire had taken her hand and lead her to their new chambers. She needed to sleep with him to consummate the marriage and make it plausible to him and everyone in the castle that he was the father. She couldn't risk Rumple coming after her baby. Not while she was still trying to figure out how to save Killian. 

But her resolve had made the night no less unpleasant. Baelfire's hands on her skin had felt wrong. His kiss had been too soft, his touch too hesitant. The way he pulled off her dressing gown had been too awkward, how he fumbled and looked away. Even when she closed her eyes, Emma could not pretend that it was killian laying her down on that bed. He was sure and practiced and just a little bit rough. Nothing like the inexperienced man child who'd had difficulty finding the right placement. And without a retreat in her mind, Emma found herself fighting the repulsion every moment he was inside of her. It was all just so wrong. 

After it was all said and done, Baelfire had quickly fallen asleep. Emma thanked every god she knew the name of for that small blessing. She could barely hold back her tears as she rushed to her washroom and called for a maid. All she'd wanted was to wash him from her skin, erase any memory of that night. She knew that it wasn't his fault that he loved her so, wanted her so, but the pity she felt for him was tinged with disgust that she could not overcome.

With a frown, Emma shook her head and stepped into her dressing room. It did her no good to think of that awful night. Baelfire hadn't touched her since to his dismay, and he never would again. She assured him he'd done nothing wrong but he'd been in quite a mood of late and she was beginning to feel less and less sympathy for him. 

She picked out a simple, dark blue gown that brought back better memories, and brushed past her corsets without a second glance. Of course she knew she should still wear one, it was only proper, but the effort seemed like far too much for her. After sliding on slippers and a thick coat, Emma stepped outside into the recently waking hallways. The sun had only just risen, meaning it was time for breakfast with her parents. It was hands down the most enjoyable part of Emma's days. Although that likely had to do with the fact that it was one of the only activities where she was completely free of Baelfire.

_____

It had gotten chilly very quickly, and soon it would no longer be possible for them to eat out in the gardens, so Emma soaked up the experience while she could. Even with the cold air, surrounded by nearly dead plants, it was the most content she'd been since their last breakfast together several days ago.

Emma turned her attention to her parents and added a new item to her list of things to worry about. They looked stressed and unhappy. Her mother especially. There were bags under her eyes, nearly as deep as Emma's and her skin had taken on a worrisome pallor. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather eat inside?" Emma asked, concerned. 

"No, of course not. I want to enjoy this before the snow falls," her mother insisted with false cheer. Their lives had become all about false cheer recently. Emma thumbed the chain around her neck, feeling the comforting weigh of Killian's ring on it. "So how is everything?"

Emma groaned and picked at the toast in the small dish before her. "Baelfire is driving me insane. He requests constant attention and I don't know how much longer I can last before I snap and tell him the truth."

"Oh, its only a matter of time before we think of a way out of this, Emma. I promise I wont let it end like this," her mother stated, grabbing her hand. Her father nodded along, wrapping an arm around Snow. Emma wanted to believe them so badly, but it had already been weeks and she missed Killian. It was like a giant hole had been blown through her chest and there was no hope of ever patching it up. If it weren't for the tiny life inside of her, Emma was sure she wouldn't survive this hell. 

"I just wish I could do something now. For all I know, Killian could be...dead," Emma's voice broke slightly at the thought of it. She couldn't imagine living the rest of her life not seeing his mischievous grin, or feeling his hand in hers. And how would she raise the baby without its father. The idea was heart wrenching. 

"You can't think like that. True love conquers all, your mother and I are proof of that." Emma nodded, wiping her blurry eyes and tried to get a hold of herself. She needed to be strong, that was the only way she would get through it. She had to believe that it wasn't over. And from the expressions on her parent's faces, they needed that too. So she offered the only good news she had. 

"There is one positive thing that's come from this whole mess," Emma began hesitantly. Her parents perked up slightly. "I'm with child."

Maybe Emma had been naive, but the looks of horror on the faces of her parents shocked her. "I'll kill him," James said slowly before moving to stand. Emma jumped forward and latched onto his arm before he could do anything foolish. 

"It wasn't Neal!" She whispered loudly. She scanned the area quickly, making sure there were no others in the garden. The last thing she needed was for word to get to Baelfire of the truth. She had not yet even told him of her condition. 

When her father sat, it was not because of anything she had done. She could see on his face that the man's intent had not changed. "So now we have new incentive to find that bastard," he muttered. 

"He wasn't the only one to blame for this happening, father," Emma fought to urge to roll her eyes. He wouldn't do any serious damage to Killian when they got him back and they all knew it. A slight coloration appeared on her father's cheeks before her mother obscured her view. The woman launched herself at Emma, squeezing her as tightly as she dared. 

"Oh Emma, I'm so happy for the both of you," She said softly. "He'll be so happy to hear the new when he returns." 

Emma had never been more greatful for her mother than in that moment. Sometimes she knew the exact right thing to say to make Emma feel better. And for a moment, she allowed herself to think about how thrilled Killian would be when he heard the new. The way his face would light up. It made her smile one of her first real one in weeks.

"He's going to be over the moon," Emma replied with a smile, stroking her stomach. She just needed to reassure the baby. His daddy would be back in time. 

"How exactly do you plan to keep this from Baelfire? I doubt we will find a way out of this mess before you start...showing," her father explained uncomfortably. Emma's smile disappeared as she recalled once again what she'd done.

"He will believe it is his child." 

And with that, no one spoke again. None of them wanted to speak on that topic and that one fact had put a damper on the baby news. How could her parents be fully happy when they knew that their daughter could never be? And how could Emma be happy when the father of her child was missing, and possibly dead? 

They finished their breakfast in silence and parted ways.

\-----

Ruby stood and stretched, feeling the bones in her spine crack deliciously. She sighed satisfied and gratefully took the pile of clothes that Graham was holding out to her. He turned away out of respect, though he'd seen her naked hundreds of times, and Red pulled on her undergarments and a simple gown. She wore them occasionally because Graham liked them so. 

"Do you know what she's going to do?" Graham called from a few trees away. 

Red shook her head as she pulled on her cloak, before realizing he wasn't looking at her. They were of course speaking of the news Emma had told her just a few days prior. Ruby hadn't known what to do when Emma had brought her in on the secret. Half of her wanted to kill Neal for laying a hand on her friend, and the other half just wanted to wave a wand and bring Killian back. They didn't deserve what was happening to them. 

"No, she doesn't have a clue. All I know is she's hell bent on getting her pirate back before the birth," Ruby responded, catching up to him. Graham took hold of her hand and they began their trek back to the castle. 

"But she doesn't have a plan on how to do that yet?" Red sighed.

"No. She can't think of a single way "

"Then its a good thing she has a friend like you. I know you won't give up on her." Graham stroked her hand with his thumb, making her heart flutter. How did he still do that to her? She felt a twinge of guilt for the happiness she felt, but shoved it away. 

"I won't." Red said with a confident grin. "Emma is going to get her happy ending if it's the last thing I do."

\-----

As a child Emma had been taught that fidgeting was rude and unbecoming as a princess. But in the moment, she hardly cared what was and was not appropriate. Baelfire had insisted that they go for tea together, as soon as she had returned from the gardens. She had feigned feeling ill but he wouldn't have it. The boy was anxious for even a drop of her attentions. 

So she tapped her perfectly manicured finger nail on the table beside her love seat, and watched as he pretended not to be annoyed. She currently had no formulated plan on how to extricate herself from Rumpelstiltskin's grasp, but perhaps if she could annoy Baelfire enough, he would decide he no longer loved her. That would make things simpler. 

"So how were you parents this morning?" He asked tentatively, taking a sip of tea. Emma paused her tapping and folded her hands onto her lap. 

"Well." Baelfire nodded and glanced out the window that Emma refused to tear her eyes from. 

The particular sitting room that he preferred, tended to give her headaches. The floor was covered in different rugs of ever sort. Tapestries hung from the walls depicting every season and color. The couches and seats were covered in the most hideous floral prints she'd ever seen. And yet, Baelfire loved everything about the horrible room. So she stared out the window and watched the birds fly away, wishing she and Killian could join their migration.

"I received word that my father will visiting in the coming days," Baelfire finally stated. Emma started, looking at Baelfire for the first time. He seemed pleased with the reaction. 

"Interesting," she replied, attempting to regain her composure. 

She didn't want to get her hopes up, but was there a chance that a plan could be formulated before Rumpelstiltskin's arrival? Could his visit be an opportunity to gain the upper hand? She didn't know, but she needed to speak with Red and her parents as soon as possible. Maybe they would have an idea of what to do. 

"Yes. He's excited to see how our marriage is fairing," Baelfire continued pointedly. Emma didn't have the slightest care though. Her mind was a million miles away. 

"I'm sure he will be pleased," she murmured off handedly, wondering when would be the soonest they could meet up. The sooner they could, the sooner she could get Killian back. Emma fought a smile as she heard Baelfire huff. He stormed out of the room loudly, leaving Emma alone and in peace. Her body sagged in relief at his absence and her hand snuck its way up to her stomach. 

Daddy will be home soon, she thought. 

\-----

Killian stood before the massive bay windows that stretched along the wall. He could see the tops of the trees that made up the enchanted forest. Beyond that, the sliver of ocean, and clouded sky. He vaguely wished he could once again return to the sea. He wished he had never left Neverland. Never sought out the crocodile. Never met Emma. But even as he thought it, he knew it was a lie. Gold held his heart, but Killian still had his memories, and in them, Emma eclipsed all things. He would sail across worlds, climb mountains and slay dragons in her name. 

He wondered what Emma was doing at that very moment. Was she strolling through the woods with Ruby? Was she having afternoon tea with her parents? Or was she with her husband? He wondered if she missed him or if Baelfire was keeping her occupied. Or if they slept in the same bed. And if she let him touch her as Killian once had.

The grand oak door leading into the dinning room slammed open, jarring his thoughts. Killian turned, shocked to find that Belle had returned. He hadn't been expecting her yet. He supposed time flew when one was in the servitude of another. The peppy brunette set her suitcase down and smoothed down her skirts before she realized she was not as alone as she had initially thought. "Killian?" 

"Always a pleasure, Belle," Killian greeted her, offering the woman a smile. She had always been kind to him, and she'd saved his life more times than he could count. 

"Umm...Not that I'm not thrilled to see you, but what are you doing here, Killian?" Belle took a few hesitant steps toward him, trying her best to smile. He knew she could sense that something was off. 

"I'll be working with your husband for the time being," Killian said carefully. It was the exact phrasing he'd been ordered to use, but it felt flimsy out loud.

"I don't understand," she said with a confused laugh. "You hate each other. What would compel you to work with Rumple? I thought you were staying with the Charmings. With Emma." Killian forced his features into his best approximation of heartbroken. 

"Emma left me. For Baelfire actually. So whilst the young prince lives in the castle with...them...I decided that this might be a welcome...distraction. " Killian bit out. Sweet, trusting Belle. Her face fell at the recounting and she rushed forward, grabbing his hands. 

"It can't be over, you both seemed so happy. Perhaps if you fought for her," Belle suggested hopefully. Killian was almost disappointed to crush that. 

"It's too late. They're married, and I've lost my chance." Bell released him arms crossed. She couldn't still be searching for a solution, could she? He hoped not. It was better not to involve her in this game, for her own safety. 

"Well everything works out for the best. And one day, I'm sure someone new will sweep you off your feet. But if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here," she offered. 

Killian hadn't meant to, but he found himself staring. He was just overwhelmed by the sense of unfairness. Belle was a delight, and there was no one who deserved her less than the crocodile. And as he stood by her side, Killian was forced away from his happy ending. Who had written that story, because he was getting a little pissed at their story line. 

Speak of the devil, Rumpelstiltskin burst into the dinning room at that very moment, grinning ear to ear. No doubt he had been listening to the entire exchange, ready to intervene had it been necessary. Killian turned away as the man, if he could even be considered that any longer, took Belle into his arms. 

"How was that pesky father of yours?"

"Insistent as always that I stay at home with him," She replied with a laugh. Killian didn't know why, that sounded like the smartest idea he'd heard in weeks. The crocodile laughed along and led her from the room. It was probably better that way. They made him think of Emma. Well everything made him think of her, if he was being honest with himself. 

"Killian, we'll be having our mid afternoon meal in west wing. See to it that is taken care of," he added. Killian nodded, though his back was to the dark one. That man was always watching, and he'd learned the hard way what the consequences were for disobeying and ignoring. 

"Now," the man continued, speaking with Belle. "I have marvelous news. We'll be visiting Baelfire and his new wife in the a few days time. He's sounded very happy..." 

They're voices trailed off slowly but surely, and Killian allowed himself the first smile since he'd arrived. It was a long shot, but that could bode well for the pirate. If he was taken along for the excursion, then he might see Emma and they could possible formulate a plan. And if he was left alone in the mansion for days, he could possibly think of a way out. 

It was fortunate that he was one lucky bastard. 

\-----

"I have a headache," Emma excused, adjusting her nightgown and slipping into their bed. She turned from his side, fixing her gaze on their bedroom door. 

Baelfire didn't respond. She heard him though. His sigh, his feet as he shuffled to his side of the bed. She could feel his eyes on the back of her head. He wanted to touch her braid, let her hair loose, but she'd snuffed him once and he wouldn't ask again. He was odd that way. But she hardly cared. She just wanted him to stop looking at her, stop expecting things of her. It was too much.

Eventually, she heard his breathing slow and even out. She peeked behind her, just to be sure. Baelfire was sound asleep, facing her, one hand stretched out to touch her, but falling just a few inches short. Cautiously, she nudged his hand away, then turned back towards the door. It was then, in the silence of the night, that Emma truly let herself go. She forgot about her family, and the baby, and everything she still had, and she thought about Killian. 

Emma thought about how much she was already missing. She thought about how badly she wished it was him she was lying beside, and how much she wished it was his ring on her finger. She let herself feel the raw ache of missing him and let the tears push to the surface. Emma covered her mouth and tried to keep the sobs from wracking her body. She didn't want to wake her husband. 

And just like every night for the last two weeks, Emma cried herself to sleep.


	2. Say You Do

It had just rained. 

All around him, massive leaves the size of his head, and tinier leaves smaller than his fingernails dripped slowly, allowing the dark soil to soak up one last taste. All across the still moist forest floor, small creatures were beginning to come out from their hiding places. Millipedes and dung beetles and everything in between began crawling about and exploring this new, wet land, their tiny exoskeletons shining brown and blue and green. 

Even birds high above began returning for a bout of fun. Parrots and cockatoos and even a phoenix or two were all flying above the trees which already seemed to brush the sky softly from where he sat. They called for friends and family as their vibrant colors flashed across his vision. Blues and yellows and reds as bright as he'd ever seen were displayed on their soft feathers. 

The colors were in sharp contrast to the muted sky. It was a dull, faded blue. One he rarely saw. The clouds were receding, disappearing over the horizon, and when he turned his head, he could see the beginnings of the sun, poking out above the ocean, lighting the sky. Soon the entire forest would be awake, as would the rest of his boys.

But this, this was his favorite time. And perched on the edge of the cliff, staring over his domain as an eagle would from his own ledge, Peter Pan felt almost content. Everything was almost perfect. He just had one more tiny piece of business that he had to attend to before he could finally relax, knowing he had everything he wanted. 

"You needed me?" 

He didn't need to turn his head to know that Felix was directly behind him, wearing that scowl that never seemed to leave his face. For a lost boy, he was a bit serious. Never seemed to want to have fun. Peter Pan had never seen anything so odd as that boy. But he was also the closest thing Peter had to a confidant, so Felix could do as he pleased. 

"Yes, I want to arrange a little...vacation," Peter said carefully, standing and turning his back to the cliff side. 

"Where will we be going?" He asked, ever the dutiful follower. 

"A land called Misthaven." Peter couldn't fight his own grin at the thought of it. 

"So it's time then?" Felix's face transformed into what could have only been the combination of a smile and pucker. 

"Oh yes, it's time to bring our Captain back home."

\-----------

Emma stood, back rigid before the castle. Beside her, an assortment of servants and maids, her....husband, and the king and queen. Emma the whole charade was a touch too formal for her, but her parents had insisted. It was for the best. So that morning, she had slipped on her chemise, squeezed into a corset, and got into one of her nicer gowns, a creme and gold thing. A thick, dark coat covered that, fending of the freezing temperature. 

She impatiently toyed with the end of her braid, flicking it back and fourth, watching Baelfire out of the corner of her eye. He was attempting to look grown, responsible. She could tell from the set of his shoulders. His father was coming to visit and he was nervous. No one wanted to fail the Dark One and incur his wrath, not even the man's son.

Emma once again felt the stab of pity in her gut. She hated Neal for what he was doing to her family, but she couldn't help but see that he was also a victim in this. He was being played just as he was, the only difference was that he was much less aware of it all. The real villain in it all was Rumplestiltskin. Emma could kill him if it killed her. Anything to protect Killian and her baby from that monster. Her hand drifted to her still flat stomach for just a moment. 

She fixed her face into a grim mask, as the carriage came into view. It was just a dot down the road, kicking up a small cloud of dust in its wake. They were silent as the black as shadow horses pulled forth the bringer of death. Perhaps she was being a tad bit dramatic. But Emma thought maybe Baelfire wouldn't have thought so. The closer the carriage drew, the more anxious he appeared, pulling at his stiff collar, shifting his feet, hands twitching. Emma almost wanted to grab one of those fidgeting hands to calm him, almost, but her hands stayed clasped firmly in from of her. 

Her own anxiety had been hampered by the presence of her parents just behind her. They were a comforting presence, and she thought that perhaps she would be as much of a mess as Baelfire if she did not have them there to soothe her. The carriage grew nearer and soon she could make out the small silver accents on the black canvas. No one seemed to be sitting up top guiding the horses, but Emma was hardly surprised by that when it came to the Dark One. 

The small opening in the carriage grew as it approached and Emma's breath caught in her breath as she saw a flash of black. It couldn't be. Would Rumplestiltskin truly be so cruel as to bring him with them? Of course he would. How could Emma be so naive to think that the man would pass up such a golden opportunity to torture them all. Emma's hand twitched, wanting to play with the ring that rested just beneath her breast on a chain, but restrained herself. She would look dignified and unperturbed before him. 

As the carriage came to a stop before them, the horses let out puffs of breath that showed in the cool air, and Emma held hers, just as the rest of them did. The door swung open abruptly, and first came that vile man dressed in his suit of skin, wearing that infernal grin that never seemed to leave his face. Especially when he knew he was winning. He did not deign to acknowledge the crowd that had gathered soley for his arrival. Instead he turned back towards the opening in the carriage and extended a hand. 

Next came one dainty foot, then another, both wearing lovely little, yellow heels. Belle emerged in a gorgeous yellow gown that complimented her skin tone perfectly. A stylish dark blue coat also adorned her. If Emma had not known better, she would have thought that belle was royalty. She even behaved as though she'd been raised for it. The woman smiled softly at the Dark One, but immediately turned to the group assembled and waved warmly. Emma could not for the life of her understand what she saw in Rumplestiltskin. He seemed to regard Belle more warmly than she thought he could physically express, but was appropriate. Belle was light and goodness. But Belle could do leagues better than him. 

Emma kept her eyes glued to the carriage opening as the couple approached, arm in arm. Perhaps she had imagined it. Killian seemed to be no where in sight. Just as she was about to turn away, however, he appeared, slowly emerging from the carriage, gaze fixed to the floor. He wore all black, though it was not leather. It appeared to be a finer version of what her own servants wore.

And then Emma couldn't breathe, because just like that he was back in her orbit. She felt this string in her gut, tugging her towards him. It took all she had to stay in place. Emma looked past the shoulders of his employers begging him with her eyes to look up, but he would not. Even as he stopped just behind Rumplestiltskin, he kept his gaze down. Did he still lack his heart, because surely he wouldn't be breaking Emma's if he didn't. 

All she wanted to do was run her hands through his hair, which was sloppy and falling forward, so unlike him. She thought about each and every time she'd done it before, each time they'd laid together, in his bed, on the deck of his ship, in her own chambers. She felt the familiar pressure in her chest and behind her eyes. Emma blinked it away and focused on the man speaking before her. She could not afford to be distracted in his presence. 

"And this is my lovely wife, Belle," he finished speaking, indicating that it was Baelfire's turn. The young man eagerly placed a hand on the small of Emma's back and nudged her closer to their guests. 

"You've met Emma, father, but Belle, I would like to introduce my new wife." Bella and Emma both curtsied. 

"It's a pleasure," Emma said politely. Belle fixed her with the most genuine smile that Emma was surprised to find that she had not been lying. It was definitely a pleasure. Aside from the shadow that stood behind them, taunting her with his indifference. 

"Oh, the pleasure is all mine," she said excitedly. "Why don't we take a walk and let those stuffy men talk," Belle insisted, slipping her arm into Emma's and dragging her inside without waiting for a response. 

Emma glanced back, and saw Baelfire smiling at her encouragingly. But she wasn't looking at him, she was looking at Killian. He finally looked up just as Belle and Emma entered the courtyard and turned a corner. He blue eyes were cold and empty. Emma felt as if her heart cracked, but she also a felt a degree of relief. 

He didn't care about her. It was clear in his stare, and that hurt no matter the circumstances. But perhaps it was better that way. That Killian no longer held his own heart. That way, he could not feel the pain that she was feeling. And anything he did would be Rumplestiltskin controlling him. None of it would be his fault. That would make it easier to forget everything once Emma figured out a way to save them all. 

\------

The moment Emma was out of sight, Killian sagged in relief. He knew he was supposed to feel something at seeing her once again. She was beautiful, radiant, and yet all he could do was dully notice that one fact. He could not feel longing, or despair, only the emptiness that had plagued him since he'd lost his heart. He knew he should have been feeling it all, wanted to feel it, and yet nothing. It would be so much easier if she wouldn't expect anything from him. But he could see the hope in her eyes as she left. She wanted him and he wasn't sure what to do about it. He didn't want to hurt her any more than necessary, but she was an integral part of his formulating a plan. But was it worth it if it hurt her to see him this way?

"What is he doing here?" Baelfire asked with disdain, glaring at Killian. 

Killian did not know who the boy before him was, but he assumed it was the new young prince. The young prince who he had never met. So why was the man looking at him as though he was a cockroach on the bottom of a riding boot. He shrugged it off after a moment, however, because there was nothing the boy could do to him, so he hardly mattered. 

"This is my new servant. The clod broke a lady's heart and had no where else to go," the crocodile explained as though he was doing some sort of charity. Baelfire crossed his arms indignantly. 

"I know that. He broke Emma's heart. Was it really so wise to bring him here, even if he is your servant?" Killian fought the urge to scoff. So the young prince was not privy to the real story. Perhaps he could use that to his advantage. 

"It will be perfectly fine. I've ordered him to stay by my side, and far from Emma. Besides, you've won her over now. She is your wife." Baelfire nodded discreetly. 

"You're right, she's my wife. Forever." The boy seemed to become more at ease, though he showed no love for Killian. Clearly the story he had been told was not a good one. 

The pair bowed slightly to the king and queen, but mostly ignored them as they trailed inside. Killian was shocked. He couldn't imagine anyone treating the rulers of their land in such a way. Of course he had not been the most respectful man at first, but that had lead to him being bound and and sentenced for execution. That crocodile would meet no such fate. 

Killian followed them, bowing deeply to the James and Snow, and offering them a quick smile, thinking that was what he was supposed to do. Though they both looked rather pained. He couldn't begin to imagine what they were going through, or feel their pain. Soon he would fix everything. Set it all right. He just had to figure out how. And first things first, he had to get away from the Dark One. 

\-----

As Neal led his father into the palace, he felt a degree of happiness he had never felt before. His father was proud of him, and happy for him. And Baelfire had achieved what he had wanted for years. Marriage to the love of his life. Everything was so perfect that he felt at any moment he would wake from this dream to find that nothing had changed. 

Yes, he was also annoyed at his father for bringing that man with him. He looked respectable at the moment, but Baelfire could remember how he had looked so long ago, leather clad and lying with Emma in that field, playing with her loose hair. He had gotten to be with her in a way that Baelfire had yet received. Happy, carefree Emma was what he wanted, and yet she denied him that. 

But he comforted himself with the thought that he'd been with Emma as a husband, and he was sure that pirate had not received the same honor. He remembered fondly how soft and wonderful their wedding night had been. Emma had not allowed him so close again, but he had faith that eventually she would fall back into his arms. He was far better than a pirate after all. 

So with a grin, he led his father and that delinquent to the banquet hall where breakfast awaited them.

\-----

Belle lead them to a bench that sat on the edge of the courtyard, right in the sun. The bench was warm but Emma tightened her jacket against the freezing air. She could see each breath as it left her body. Belle had yet to close her coat completely. She didn't know how the girl wasn't frozen solid. It would surely snow soon. Emma sighed. At least the weather was as depressing as her mood. 

"I admit, I brought you here under false pretenses. I don't want to chat about the weather or your recent wedding, which I was sorry to miss. I actually hoped to speak to you about Killian..." Belle looked so hesitant that Emma felt hope build within her for a moment. Had Killian told her the truth? Would she help them be together again?

"What about him?" She asked breathlessly. Belle touched her arm in support and leaned in. 

"I know you left him for Baelfire, I just wanted to know what happened? You both seemed so happy, like something out of a fairy tale..." Emma pressed her lips tightly together and leaned away. So he'd told Belle that she had left Killian. She could play along with that story. And any tears she shed would only serve to make it more real. Because she felt that there might be tears. 

"We just didn't want the same things. I want to be queen one day, have a family of me own, and all he wanted to was to be on the sea," she fibbed, the words tasting sour on her tongue. "I do love him, but sometimes these things don't work," she added, voice breaking. She refused to believe that that was true. They would find a way. "And Baelfire and I, we want the same things. And he loves me, treats me well, so I'm sure one day I'll come to feel the same way," she finished, though she was thinking, over her dead body. 

Belle frowned, pulling away. She looked into Emma's watery eyes for a moment before pulling her into a hug. "I'm so sorry for how everything has happened. But maybe it isn't over yet. I love Baelfire, but he deserves someone who loves him. And you deserve to be with someone you love. I know Killian still loves you, so there's a chance you can still be together, right?" Belle pulled away with a hopeful gleam in her eyes. Emma was taken aback. She wanted to help them.

"I don't know how. I'm married now, til death do us part," Emma responded doubtfully. But Belle didn't seem deterred. 

"I'm sure their's a loophole. With true love, there's always a way."

Emma decided she liked Belle very much. 

\-----

Everyone sat at the breakfast table, but no one spoke. It was uncomfortable to say the least. Emma was staring firmly at her plat of toast, jam, and porridge, trying not to look, or really think about, Killian. Killian was staring blankly at a wall. Baelfire was staring at Emma, perhaps trying to will her into speaking to him. Emma's parents were sharing concerned looks with only each other. Belle was eating, and shifting uncomfortably in her chair. Presumably because she could feel the tension and could think of no way to end it. And Rumplestiltskin was smugly looking at all of them, enjoying the havoc he had wreaked. 

"Your majesties, thank you so much for hosting us," Belle finally spoke, putting down her silverware. She was ever the polite guest. 

"It is our pleasure of course," Snow responded graciously. "You are family now." And Emma almost believed her mother was being sincere. It wasn't as though the queen didn't like Belle, she just didn't want to consider many of the people in the room family. 

Belle smiled broadly at that, but soon thereafter, silence descended upon the table once again. No one attempted to break it this time. 

\-----

As soon as it was acceptable, Emma fled from breakfast and hurried straight to her chambers. Not of course, the ones she shared with Baelfire. She did not consider that her space. She preferred the room she had grown up in. The one that housed all of her happiest moments. Her shared chambers held only her saddest. 

She shut the door tightly as she entered and feel into her bed. She had so many things to consider and she could hardly think when she was in a room with so many people who she felt so differently towards. Especially Killian. How was she to think about logically when they were finally in the same room together and he was ignoring her. She understood but it still stung. 

Emma felt her belly and a new conflict grew inside of her. She was not sure whether or not she should tell Killian the news. He was unfeeling at the moment, he would not be excited by the realization that they would be having a baby. Was it really fair to tell him such joyous news under those conditions? But he was the father, he deserved to know, and she certainly wanted to tell him. The only real hindrance was the Dark One.

He controlled Killian, mind and body. If Emma told him that he was the father, Rumplestiltskin could very well find out. Emma didn't know what he would do with that sensitive information, but she also didn't want to find out. Telling Killian the truth would not be worth it if their baby was put in danger. And Killian wouldn't be able to live with himself if he knew that he'd caused their baby harm. Once he got his heart back. 

So Emma would not tell him. 

She would not tell Baelfire either. If she could get out of their marriage without him ever finding out, that would be ideal. Emma did not want him to believe that he had any claim over her child, and she did not want to cause him undue harm either. To tell a man he had a baby on the way, then take away that hope was cruel. Too cruel for her own liking. 

That just left Belle. She wanted to help Emma and Killian. She didn't have any ideas of yet, but what if she thought of something. She could be of use helping Emma and Killian communicate, and perhaps she could help get him his heart back. If anyone could slip past The Dark One's defenses after all, it would be Belle.

But Emma didn't really think she could ask Belle to betray her own husband, as much as the kind brunette wanted to help them. Not without telling her the real story. And if Belle reacted badly, it could lead to Killian getting hurt or killed. Emma wasn't ready to take that kind of risk. So she wasn't sure if they would think of anything while the couple was visiting. But Belle's words had reassured her. True love could conquer anything. She and Killian were meant to be together, she was sure of it, so she would figure out a way to bring them back together if it was the last thing she did. 

With a hopeful attitude, Emma stood up and went into her closet. It seemed like the perfect time for a sparring session with her father.


	3. Playing With Fire

Emma had worn a coat when they'd met outside in the courtyard to spar, as had her father. But after 45 minutes, they had both abandoned the bulk, already warm enough without it. Emma tried to keep from focusing on the dying trees that surrounded them, or the deserted courtyard. It was all a bit too drab for her liking, and she hadn't come out to think about things. 

For the first part of their sparring, they merely traded blows. Lunging, striking, dodging, circling. She'd become quicker and stronger under her father's tutelage, but she still could not gain the upper hand on him. Later, they pick up swords and assumed their stance. Emma switched hands regularly, hoping to become as proficient in her left hand as she was in her right. Her father still bested her easily regardless of which hand held her weapon. 

Emma was happy though, for that short period. She didn't have to think about her husband, or her ex lover, or her blackmailer, she just thought about her foot placement, and her father's weak spots, and the burning of her thighs and arms. It was a welcome relief from the maddening thoughts which had been tirelessly whirling about in her head. 

Until they gained an audience. Near the end of their practice, The Dark One made an appearance, Baelfire following, and Killian trailing behind them. They took a seat on a nearby bench to watch, and Killian stood behind them, staring at the stone floors of the courtyard. 

"Don't get distracted now," her father called, as he lunged forward and slashed at her unprotected side. Emma just barely blocked it, but could not keep her footing. She stumbled back, falling to the hard, cold floor and scraping both of her hands.

She felt the sting in her palms as the skin tore away from her hands, but Emma's mind was far from that. She was more focused on Killian. It had been a tiny motion, just a flinch really. She would not have noticed it if he hadn't had her full attention from the moment he'd arrived, but she saw it. Killian had flinched towards her, just barely, as if to rush to her aid. 

Emma knew that he didn't have his heart, and he had not control over himself at the moment, but for a moment, it appeared that despite it all, a part of him was still inside there. A part of him still cared for her and her well being. There was always the chance that the small move had been orchestrated by their puppet master in a bid to torture her, but she refused to think that way. She would not let Rumplestiltskin take away what little happiness she could find.

Emma's father and Baelfire rushed to her side, both clearly concerned. Her father reached her first, his gaze purposefully shooting toward her stomach. Emma smiled at him reassuringly. There sparing had not been affected by her pregnancy as of yet, but the last thing she wanted was for her father to go easy on her because of that. She knew the baby wouldn't be hurt, and she wanted to enjoy the exercise before her belly began to grow too large for even that. 

Baelfire knelt by her side, concern written all over his face. She tried to keep her gaze on her husband as he gently helped her to her feet, but her gaze continued to shoot over his shoulder to Killian. His eyes were once again glued to the stone floor of the courtyard. With a sigh, Emma turned back to husband and forced a smile. She could pretend as though she was was happy that he had come to her aid. At least while his father was watching. 

"Are you all right, Emma?" He didn't exactly touch her, just allowed his hands to hover over various parts of her body, as if he were scanning her for injuries. 

"Oh yes, perfectly fine," Emma insisted, grabbing his hands in her own. She hoped it appeared to be a sweet gesture, but she honestly just didn't want his hands on her. Especially with Killian pointedly not watching them. Bealfire did not seem convinced. 

"Perhaps it was not the best idea for me to allow you to continue with this. It just isn't practical, I mean, when would you need to know how to fight?" Emma fought the urge to roll her eyes as she pulled her hands away. He didn't allow her to do anything. She did as she pleased. Aside from that one wedding bit. 

"It is very practical. I can defend myself." Baelfire seemed to be more concerned that his father was watching than her opinion. 

"You don't need to defend yourself. Your father and I are here to protect you. Not to mention being under the protection of my father," he explained in possibly the most condescending manner on the planet. Killian had never once used that tone of voice with her. 

"What if none of you are present?" Baelfire shot her the most befuddled look. She almost wanted to smack it off. What an entitled twat. 

"That would never happen, don't worry so much dear. Now lets get inside and get you cleaned up." Her father crossed his arms but said nothing. 

Baelfire placed a gentle hand on the small of her back and began leading her, with just the barest hint of force, into the castle. Emma didn't fight it. She did peek behind her shoulder to glance back at Killian, their eyes met for a moment before she entered the castle, but she saw nothing in them. Rumplestiltskin's smug expression was the only emotion she could pick up on. 

\-----

Killian thought that perhaps there was power in wishful thinking. 

He and Emma were meant to be, so what if there was a loophole to his missing heart? What if somehow he could regain his own feelings without his heart being in his chest. It seemed like a silly thought, but perhaps there was something to it. His mind was following that very process what Emma had fallen, after all. He'd been ordered to stand behind the crocodile and his pompous son, told not to move a muscle. 

And yet the moment he'd seen her foot slip out from beneath her, he'd been forced into action. Just a twitch forward, no real action had been taken. But that was more proof than any that perhaps wishful thinking was enough. Perhaps true love was enough. Milah had not had a happy ending, but Emma could, and Killian could be part of it. If only he could fight hard enough. 

He just needed to believe that their love was enough. That even though he'd felt nothing as she'd glanced back and met his gaze, it would not always be that way. Emma loved him, it was clear as day. And though he still did not believe he deserved it, he knew it was true. She would do everything in her power to get him back, even if that meant acting as a wife to her husband. Killian would just have to grit his teeth and fight from his side as well. 

He could do it. A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets. He truly believed in that mantra, and would fight his damnedest to get his happy ending. Or he would die trying. Perhaps his face took on a more sober expression than usual, because he seemed to have attracted the attention of a crocodile.

"Something troubling you, dearie?" Killian did not look up from the ground. 

"Of course not," he mumbled. "Just a bit cold."

\-----

It was a soft touch, a gentle caress of her inner thigh that made her feel as if she was burning up from the inside out. Why wouldn't he touch her where she needed? But Killian was adamant that he take his time. His fingers skimmed lower, over her knee, down her calf. His eyes following the curve of her leg. "Killian, you're driving me mad," Emma said softly. Could she really be to blame? She was naked in the man's bed and he was fondling her leg. 

"Good." He winked and placed a small kiss on her ankle where his hand had stopped. "I just want to memorize every inch of you, remember it forever. Is that so wrong?" Emma huffed a laugh. She supposed not. Regardless, she had grown tired of his games, amusing and sweet as they were. 

Emma sat up, reaching out a hand to gently grab his chin. She brought him forward until their lips met. And as she slowly reclined back onto his bed, he followed her, pressing up against her in a way that felt wonderful. His hand skimmed her hip, up her side, down her arm until their hands were clasped together tightly.

"Emma," she looked up at him. His lips weren't moving. 

"Emma," his face began to blur. No. 

"Emma," she was losing it. Killian, his bed, his ship. She didn't want to go. She just wanted to stay in that bubble. She tried to fight it but it was too late, no matter how she tried, she was waking. She could feel the tears building as she opened her eyes to the darkness of their bedroom. No. She didn't want to be here. 

Emma sat up slowly, hoping not to wake her husband, and slowly began wiping her eyes and collecting herself. She needed to get herself together. Dreams of the past were only going to make the present that much worse. Either she needed to stop with the silly dreams, or she needed to hurry up and find a way to get Killian back. She couldn't go on the way things were. 

"Emma," Killian whispered from his place on the floor beside her bed. Emma nearly jumped a foot at the sight of him. What in the hell was he doing there? Did he not realize that she slept just inches from her current husband who could wake at any moment? She could not see his face, or his clothing, but she knew his voice. It was the same voice that had spoken to her just moments before in her dream. 

Before she could spell out to him his idiocy, then jump into his arms and thank every god for sending him, he interrupted her. "We must talk and we must do it soon. I don't have much time."

Killian offered her his good hand and she nearly laughed. It reminded her of the last time he had snuck into her room. How even then she'd felt so little fear of him, regardless of the fact that he had been a criminal who had stolen into her room in the dead of night to take her away. Then she had refused him, told him to return to her, but she had never once turned him down after he found his way back to her. Looking at his outstretched hand, she knew there would never again be a day when she would not take it. 

She took it without another thought and he led her out of her bedroom, away from the sleeping prince. He did not speak once they had slipped into the quiet halls. The only sounds were their his boots on the bare stone, and her sniffles. They always came when she cried, as did the red puffiness. She hated it. 

The torches on the walls, and moonlight slipping in through the high windows allowed Emma a clearer view of Killian's face. It was as somber as it had been since he had arrived at the castle. She felt her hopes drop. Perhaps it had been silly, but she had hoped for the tiniest instant that he had found a way to steal back his heart, and that her pirate had come to her in the night so that they might run away together, only to return with a solution that would rid them of the Dark One. But she could see clearly that was not the case. 

They continued on down hall after hall, never encountering a soul. As the chill began to seep up into Emma's feet and into her bones, she realized where they were going. Her old bedroom. Perhaps Killian did still have a bit of sentimentality in him, she thought as he opened the door for her and shut the both of them in.

"This was the only place I could think of that we might be able to speak freely," he explained. Or not. And it was that thought that made her realize, how did she know that this was Killian? It could have very well been Rumplestiltskin whispering into his heart, telling him exactly what to do. She took a cautious step back. How did she know she hadn't been brought away from people so that he could hurt her?

"How do I know it's you and not him? How did you get away from The Dark One?" Killian looked visibly confused for a moment before that faded away to a blank slate. 

"Of course it's me. I just came to tell you that I found a loophole, and that's how I escaped." Emma waved his hand to continue, and took a seat at the foot of her bed. She wasn't sure if she believed him, but she would hear him out. If he was there to hurt her, there was nothing more for her to do, she could not best the pirate in a fight. And she just wanted a little more time to be near him. Seeing him after so long was as much a treat as it was painful, but it was also worth it. 

"When the crocodile took my heart, I had thought that it would be like a death sentence, that I have no control, but I do. It is a sliver, but it exists. He gave an order earlier, to stay in a specific spot, and I had to. But that didn't mean I couldn't lean forward, or move my arms, or turn my head. I can take advantage of the things I can still do, and maybe I can use this to escape." 

"That's what I did today. I've been ordered to cause Rumplestiltskin and Belle no harm, but I didn't. While I was getting their afternoon tea from the kitchen, I sprinkled in a little something extra that I used to give to Smee so he'd sleep through the night. It didn't hurt them, only put them in so deep a sleep, that the Dark One would never notice my absence for the night."

"You should include Belle, cautiously. She offered to help me today, to fix us. So if there is a small part to play in our plans, she may be willing. But she doesn't know the real story," Emma warned. Killian just nodded. He seemed deep in thought for a moment. 

Emma eyed him suspiciously. It had been clever, his plan, and it sounded like a good enough start, especially if Belle assisted them. But if it was plausible, if he'd already accomplished so much, why didn't he sound more excited? Had excitement also been taken away along with his heart? That would explain the monotonous tone of his voice. Emma had never heard him speak like that before and it was unnerving. He didn't sound like him. 

"Do you even want to escape?" She found herself asking. She immediately regretted it. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to that particular question. 

"Of course." Killian took a tentative step forward. "I don't want to be under his thumb." Killian paused for a moment, looking away. "I know what you really want to know. Do I want to get back to you? It's true, I don't feel love or hate or longing, but I do have these memories. Ones from every moment we ever shared. And every single one of them is filled with this indescribable feeling of wonder and love. I want that back more than anything." Killian met Emma's gaze and took one more step towards her. "As I am, you cannot trust me. It is a fact. But I want your trust. I want to be as we were. Happy, engaged, ready to begin the rest of our lives together. I will do anything for that."

Emma felt those damn tears pushing at her eyes once more. She wanted to tell him. Here was a man without a heart who still wanted to fight for her. More than anything, she wanted to tell him that he had two things to fight for. But no matter how she tried, the words wouldn't leave her mouth. It wasn't the right time. She pressed a hand to her stomach and swallowed her tears. 

"I want us back as well. But we have to be realistic, it might take a while." Killian nodded, and slowly took a seat beside Emma. 

She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Did she want that space between them to be there or not? She was a married woman, she couldn't cheat on her husband. And Killian didn't have his heart. Any kiss or touch they shared would lack the feelings that made it so special. And yet, she wanted to reach out, reassure herself that he was real, this night was not just another dream. 

"I'm prepared to fight for this, as long as takes."

For a few minutes, they sat together in silence. Their hands on her bed, just inches from each other. Emma soaked in the feeling of peace she got, just from occupying the same space as him, even if it wasn't really him. She unapologetically stared, taking in every inch of him. His ruffled hair, his strong jaw, his blue eyes that seemed less bright than usual. Or maybe that was just her own imagination. 

But soon it was time for him to go. Killian, who had not looked at much but the carpet, turned towards her, his gaze flickering over her face. Then with a deep sigh, he stood. He didn't look back as he left her alone in her bedroom. Emma hadn't realized how hollow she had felt over the last two weeks, not until Killian had come in and filled that hole. But his absence left her hollow once more. Emma curled up, feeling cold once more, and watched her the darkness outside her windows turn to light. 


	4. Battle Scars

Regina looked down at her reflection in the water of the pond. It would have to do. She hadn't let down her hair since she was a girl, but suddenly if felt right. She even added a soft braid. And her clothes were far drabber than anything she had worn in ages, but they did the trick. It would take time but soon she would get used to the itch of the course fabric against her soft skin.

With a huff, she straightened herself and smoothed down the front of her dress. She could put it off no longer. It was time to begin her new life. Somewhere in a land far away, a family lived miserable in their palace, and they would be that way until their deaths. This brought Regina a peace that she had never know before. For years, they had wronged her and to finally have her revenge on the Charmings was more satisfying than she could ever put into words.

Yes, she did have what some might have described as a hole, but that wasn't a bad thing. It was just a clean slate. Regina didn't know how she was going to do it but she was going to start over. She would have a normal, happy life. As satisfied as she was with her revenge, she knew she wasn't quite happy yet. That would take work.

Step one, no magic. This would be the most difficult part of her plan, she thought, but it was the most vital. Everyone in the Enchanted forest thought that she had lost her magic for good and she needed to keep it that way. She had begun the ruse so that they would let their guard down, and If she started using magic again, she was sure she would be identified easily. But it was about more than just hiding and she knew it. All of her life, she had only seen magic hurt people. It just spread misery and she wanted to be free of the cycle. She was sure it would feel like the loss of an appendage. She would miss it for a time but eventually she would learn to live without it. She hoped.

r

With a scowl, anger was easier for her than fear, Regina turned from the pond and marched straight into the woods. She was the evil queen for goodness sake, she could handle a little forest, she told herself. It would be easy. She would just walk until she found a village or town, then she would begin to plant her roots. What could possibly go wrong?

\-----

The answer was mosquitoes. Without any protection spells, the insects quickly descended upon Regina and feasted with vengeance. They tore at her skin until she had little red bumps on every exposed patch of skin, and she itched like mad. Regina didn't know how regular people survived it but it was torture. And that wasn't even all of it.

There was also the idleness of her mind. Since the day Daniel had died, Regina had always had something to think about, her revenge. If she wasn't plotting against Snow, she was figuring a way to break out of prison, or searching for other allies in the kingdom. She had never been so alone and in silence before and it was terrifying. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to be thinking about but she had never expected to be so worried.

Mostly, Regina thought about the future. A nice one where she woke up with a smile and looked forward to the day. But this always lead to her trying to fill in gaps. For example, why was she smiling. What was going to be her happy ending? She knew it wouldn't be a man. That ship had sailed years ago. Daniel had been her true love and she refused to believe that there was another man out there who could make her as happy.

Besides, Regina wasn't even completely sure what kind of man she would fall in love with, if she was even capable of that. The last thing she wanted was another villain who would drag Regina back into the darkness. But no hero would ever want her after all of the atrocities she had committed. It was better if she just threw away the idea of love entirely. She could be happy without a man. She didn't need one. She didn't need anyone. She would find a way to be happy on her own.

She wasn't completely sure if that was possible though, so her brain endlessly considered what her life might be like as she stepped over roots and through foliage. She tried not to grumble too much about the dirt on her cheeks, or the twigs in her hair, or how light her supply bag was getting. She failed. But whatever. If being a slightly reformed villain meant she couldn't complain, than Regina was doomed. She might as well go back to kicking puppies and stealing sweets.

\-----

It was three days before Regina came across a living soul.

As the sun had begun to sink below the tree line, and Regina noted that there were more shadows than anything else, she began searching for a place to settle in for the night. This was a nearly impossible endeavor as Regina had standards. She thought she was a reasonable person, she didn't want to sleep on dirt, or twigs or mud or bugs, but all of these things were very common in the forest.

Just as she had the last two nights before, Regina bit back a scowl as she laid her bedroll down in the curve of the roots of a massive tree. She pulled a blanket over herself to fight the growing chill and placed her pack in her lap. Inside she still had her fire starter, a compass, a half a loaf of bread, a roll of cheese, some wrapped jerky, a small knife and the ring that Daniel had given her so many years ago.

Holding her bag tightly to her chest, Regina let the exhaustion take her over. She was hardly used to trekking through the woods for days on end, so this change of pace left her feet throbbing, her thighs sore, and her mind drained. She knew in the morning, it would take all of her self control to not use magic to ease her discomfort, just as it had taken the previous days. It was only a few moments before her eyes were sliding shut and her muscles were beginning to loosen. Soon enough, sweet oblivion took her away.

When Regina woke, it was with a start. Her body immediately tensed as she sensed that something was wrong. She could hear footsteps. They were soft and light, but quick. And she could tell they were approaching her. The forest was pitch black, she couldn't see her hand an inch from her face. Turning her head slowly and listening closely, she tried to discern where the noise was coming from. She couldn't. The footsteps were getting closer.

In a panic, she stood and gathered her things to her chest. Stepping out from the roots of the tree, Regina began heading for lower ground. She made it about three steps before a heavy body collided with her own. The both tumbled to the ground hard. She grunted as her shoulder hit a particularly hard rock, and all of the air rushed out of her body as the large one on top of her crushed her.

Both of their bags hit the ground beside them with two quiet thuds. Regina fought the urge to turn the mongrel into a pile of ash if he didn't get off of her. He had no idea what she was capable of. Was, she told herself. She wouldn't lose her control after only three days. After the first person she'd come into contact with. She was better than that. Stronger than that.

She raised her arms to push him off, but in the next heartbeat, the man was up, grabbing his bag and rushing off into the dark, nary a word for her. Regina scoffed as she listed to the fading footsteps. Chivalry was most certainly dead then. If all men were like that one, then she definitely knew that her happy ending would not include one. Preposterous.

Regina hauled herself off of the cold ground with a scowl and lifted her own sack. It would be best if she just put the entire encounter out of her mind, she thought as she nestled back into her spot at the foot of the tree. But as she closed her eyes and held her own pack in her hands, she found that she could not forget it. She had encountered nothing of interest for days so that was all she had to occupy her mind as she attempted to drift back off.

Like what could that man have been running from with such urgency? Clearly he had been in too much of a rush to even apologize to her, a lady. Should she have been worried? Would some danger soon pass through? If so she could handle it, reluctant as she was to use her magic. Her life was far more important than some dream of happiness and moral ground.

Or perhaps he was running to something. After all, she could hear no sounds now that the stranger's footsteps had receded completely. Maybe he had family, or a lover to meet. Or perhaps he was running away from home. There were endless possibilities. Regina tried her hardest to think of them all as sleep eventually came upon her once again.

\------

When morning came, Regina was woken by the sounds of birds and faint shuffling leaves. Regina had never hated birds more in her life. She had never been a morning person before, but living in the forest, she really wasn't a morning person. She couldn't believe there were even still birds in the area. The chill had begun to deepen and winter was coming. Soon the rest of the leaves would fall, and the snow would follow.

Regina hoped to have a warm place to sleep by then, but perhaps that was too hopeful.

Swallowing the sour taste in her mouth, Regina allowed her bag to roll to the side and stood slowly. She stretched, letting her bones pop and snap, before slowly releasing the tension. Then she glanced at her bag. She was starving, her stomach was voicing as much. But with so little supply, was it really wise to eat? It took less than a minute for her to decide that she just didn't give a fuck. She was going to eat.

Regina quickly tore open her sack and froze. There was no jerky or bread or compass. No ring. The sack was filled with smaller little pouches. Each pouch was filled with gold coins and small gems. Regina couldn't believe her eyes as she checked each one. It was a small fortune. Regina could live comfortably with this for the rest of her life. But this wasn't her things.

It didn't have the ring.

Regina fought the quickly rising panic. She needed it. It was the last thing she had from him. If she didn't have it, it was like Daniel had never even existed. It invalidated every moment of her life following him. She needed to get it back, but how? She had no idea where it was, or who even had it. How would she even begin to-

Regina's head snapped up in shock. The man from last night. She recalled as he fumbled for a bag and dashed off. Clearly he hadn't meant to steal her things. She hadn't had anything of value, and he'd clearly had something worth keeping a tight hold on. She needed to find him and get her things back. She needed to get her ring back. Perhaps she was fixating a bit, perhaps she needed something to fixate on, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was retrieving her property.

But how in the hell was she going to find that bastard. She thought she remembered which direction he had run off into, but that was just a guess, and even then, he could have changed direction. And with no description of his appearances, she could hardly ask and strangers if they had seen him. So in other words, she was royally screwed.

Regina let her gaze fall back down to the bag in her hand. She had something of his. And she had her magic. Perhaps just this once, she could use it to find him. It was her only hope. And she was using her magic for good so maybe it would be okay. She would be apprehending a thief. That was something the Charmings might have even done. With a sardonic grin, Regina hugged the bag closely and began searching the forest floor for necessary ingredients.

\-----

By midday, Regina's throat was parched, her stomach was cramping, and her feet were sore, but she'd gotten her spell up and running. A drop of the potion on the bag and a faint purple trail appeared in the air. It shimmered and pulsed like it might in a moment disappear, but it persisted, stubborn as Regina. With a satisfied grin, she set out to chase the rat.

\-----

It was a week and a half before Regina finally laid eyes on her mark. She'd passed through thorny brushes, rivers and a few villages, spending just an inkling of what was in her bag, and finally the time had come. She didn't spot him in a town or village as she had suspected, but no, she finally found her man, deep in the forest sitting at a large camp fire. He was accompanied by about ten other men, all large, and all boisterous and loud. She had enough sense to be made nervous by a large group of men, but Regina had traveled too far, worked too hard to give up. She would get her ring back.

Taking a deep breath, Regina held their sack firmly behind her back and stepped out from her crouched place in the bushes. All of the men jumped to their feet at the first hint of a sound, dropping their beers, and pulling out weapons. All except for the man whom the trail had lead her to. The back of his head remained to her as he continued to drink from his mug. Clearly the bastard was in charge.

"Stand down men, it's just a lady. She wants her things back I presume," the man said knowingly. He turned his head a few inches towards her and offered a smile. Regina met it with a scowl.

"What do you mean, 'just a lady,'?" Regina asked, tightening the fist holding their bag and stepping farther into the light. It would get more and more difficult to not squash people like insects as time passed. She could see that now. The men slowly sank back onto their tree stumps and picked up their spilled and abandoned drinks. "You have no idea what I'm capable of." The stranger smiled more widely and stood to face her. The fire behind him covered his shape in shadows so she could make out very little of him.

"Actually I do. Anyone who could track a merry man is not one to be trifled with." The man offered a hand to Regina. "Robin Locksley, at your service my lady." Regina turned her nose up at the hand. Who did he think he was? She was no longer a queen but she was still his superior.

"You smell like the forest," she commented, already looking past him at his small campsite. She just needed to get her bag and get out. And when she left behind theirs, she was sure they wouldn't notice that a couple of those pouches had gone missing. She would have to eat and find lodging after all.

"That could be perhaps because I live in it. From the looks of it, you do too," he said far too friendly like for her tastes. "Care to take a seat then?" He waved a hand to the stumps by the fire. Regina would be lying if she claimed not to be tempted by the warm flames, but she held her ground and shook her head. She did not want to be consorting with these men. They would not contribute at all to her happy ending.

"Well if you want you bag, I think you'll sit down for a spell," Robin suggested, before walking off. A single tent was visible, hidden slightly by brush. He disappeared into it and Regina didn't even consider leaving. She would get her things back. Including her ring. Regina took a reluctant seat as far from the men as possible but they appeared to be no real problem because they paid her no mind. She wasn't anything interesting. At least, she didn't look it. She shook the bag behind her back softly to reassure herself that she still had her bargaining chip.

When Robin resurfaced from inside his tent, Regina was finally able to get a better look at him as he approached her and the fire lit up his features. He had a wide jaw, soft eyes, his hair was cut short, and his skin looked tough. Not rough, only as though he had been a victim of the elements his entire life, and he knew nothing else. His dirty blonde beard was beginning to grow out. This was not a man who had ever known many comforts. And yet his grin was easy and open.

Regina felt a pang in her chest as she realized that he reminded her of Daniel. More than she cared to admit. Daniel had been soft like that, the way he whispered sweet words, and smiled openly, and gazed at her with eyes that were so incredibly trusting. Yet when he grabbed her hands, his own were rough and calloused from work in the stables. And when she snuck out late at night to stargaze with him in the field behind her house, she could always feel the taut muscles beneath his clothing that only came from manual labor.

"Do you have a name then?" Robin asked, pulling Regina painfully from her memory. His question was tinged with a strand of worry.

"That doesn't concern you," she responded in a clipped tone. "My things?" Robin's face scrunched up in confusion. Regina ignored it.

She couldn't care less if she'd hurt his precious little feelings by snapping at him. How dare he worry about her. He didn't know her. She was doing better than she had been in years. Everything was looking up. There was endless possibility. If anything, he needed to be worried about himself and his filthy vagabonds who all seemed to be living indefinitely in the woods like animals.

"Of course," he said recovering quickly. Robin extended the bag that she hadn't seen a moment ago. Strange. She was usually more on her game.

Regina dropped Robin's bag at his feet like it was on fire and snatched up her own. It was lighter than before. As she rooted through it, she noticed all of the food was missing. But that was hardly where her mind was at. After a moment, she sighed in relief as she pulled the ring out. It was safe, thank the heavens. Regina felt Robin's scrutiny and slipped the ring into her corset and out of sight.

"All of that trouble for that little trinket. Well you're definitely a determined one," he commented, tossing his sack between his hands casually. Regina decided she probably deserved all of the gold in his hands for her patience with him. She stood abruptly and turned away from him and his men who had fallen quiet and still. She thought perhaps they might have fallen asleep, still sitting up, beers still in hand.

"You don't know anything, and it was not at all a pleasure." With that, Regina stepped towards the blackened woods, glad she would never have to speak to the infuriating woodsman ever again.

And after only two steps he made her eat those words.

"Now wait just a second. If I'm not mistaken, you owe me some gold." Regina rolled her eyes. Men.

"And you owe me an apology for mowing me down, and provisions. If you're interested in splitting hairs," she said, turning back towards him and crossing her arms. Robin looked so smug she just wanted to poof the stupid look off his face. And there were so many ways to do it, just off the top of her head. She felt her fingers twitching.

"Ahh but that doesn't nearly add up. I think you owe a debt and you seem like the kind of woman who pays her debts."

Regina laughed. Who did he think he was making assumptions about her? She hadn't paid a debt in years. She was possibly the least noble, least respectable woman on the planet. And he wanted to guilt her into somehow paying him back? He was delusional. She wasn't the hero in the story, she was the villain, and villains did as they pleased.

But then, she didn't want to be a villain anymore. The whole point of this was that she wanted to change. With a sigh, Regina realized she was going to let the bastard guilt her. She wanted to be the hero. She wanted to get her happy ending. And the only way to do that was with integrity and respectability. As much as she hated the thought of it.

"You are incredibly lucky I've recently had a change of heart. What did you have in mind?"

Robin grinned excitedly like he hadn't expected that tactic to work, and tossed his gold aside. It landed with a thump somewhere out of sight. "Well it so happens that one of our merry men, Scarlet, took leave. That means we're one man short on our next run. If you help us out with it, then I'll call it even. What do you say?"

"What would I have to do?" Regina asked suspiciously. Suddenly this man didn't seem 100 percent on the straight and narrow.

"You would just be a look out, maybe help with some packing of goods that we'll be borrowing from some very wealthy, very bad people."

"So you're thieves." Robin shook his shoulders.

"Thief is such a strong work. We just....borrow from the rich and...redistribute that wealth to the less fortunate. So are you in or out?" Robin extended his hand and Regina considered it.

She would be going back to being a criminal if she agreed. But it wasn't as though she was going straight back to being the evil queen. She wouldn't be murdering or ruining lives. Technically she would be helping people. Better, because she would be helping the peasants she had terrorized for years. And this seemed like it would be a much better way than her original plan.

Regina had planned to give up villainy cold turkey, but that seemed like a mountain of a task. What Robin proposed was a much more gradual shift into the good guy slot. She could handle helping him steal from the rich and give to the poor. And after the one job, Regina could go off and seek out her happy ending. With a grin, she shook Robin's hand.

Having purpose again, even such a vague one, felt good.

"You can call me Regina."

\-----

The job that Robin had in mind had probably been a momentous one before Regina had arrived, but with her, it would be a cake walk. Easier still because she would be using her magic to help the Merry Men. She had come to realize the night before as she lay awake, that she had been rash to toss it aside completely. She had spent so many years building up her magic, relying on it, it was impossible to let it go all at once. And by using it to help Robin, she was using it for a mostly good cause. That counted for something.

Besides, she wouldn't use it to hurt anyone. Even though, from the sounds of it, that Lord Byron deserved it. He hadn't done nearly as much as the Evil queen, but apparently the man had been abusing the peasants in the villages surrounding his land for years. He'd been taking money, livestock and crops, so the Merry Men decided it was finally time to take out a little justice. Regina was more than on board. Nothing like giving a jerk his just desserts to make her feel as though she was on the right path.

Byron had a formidable estate, however, and he protected it well. The man was clearly aware of how many enemies he'd made over the years, and was well prepared for attacks. He had a ten foot stone wall that surrounded the entirety of his estate, with two guards posted atop it, each armed with bows. Just below the guards was a massive iron gate, sealed shut at that time of night.

She could make out the inner courtyard from where they sat huddled in the bushes though. The combination of lit torches and stars offered enough light for them to see into the courtyard. Several guards could be seen inside, all holding weapons. Past the half dozen guards, were massive wooden double doors that lead into the main estate where Byron was most likely sleeping soundly in his massive bed.

Regina's thighs were burning like hell but they couldn't make their move just yet from their spot. They were waiting on a few more men to meet with them. Robin had sent them to check the perimeter. Everyone had a job to do, and Regina was actually fairly excited for her own job. Robin had been hesitant, well, actually completely against, giving her the job.

\----

"Look, you're a one of a kind lady, but the entire plan hinges on getting silently passed the guards. Its arguably the most important part. I don't know if we can trust you with that," Robin explained. The Merry Men stood behind him, nodding like good little minions.

"You have no idea what kind of _lady_ I am. But I can do this. I can guarantee that you, and none of your men, are harmed," Regina crossed her arms, staring him down. Robin unflinchingly met her gaze. Regina raised her eyebrow at that. He would never have acted that way if he knew she was the evil queen. But he never would. It was a necessity that she was strangely okay with. Robin caved first and and she cracked a grin. 

"Fine. But we will have a backup plan in case you fail." Robin extended a hand and Regina shook it gladly. She already had a full proof plan. 

"And when I succeed, you'll owe me a drink, Locksley," Regina joked. Kind of. She could really use a drink. Then she would leave the lot of them in the dust. 

"I look forward to it," he said with that open trusting grin. 

\----

Suddenly, two massive shady figures appeared from behind the edge of the wall. As they slowly crept, forward, Regina could recognize the two Merry Men as they approached, though she couldn't for the life of her remember their names. She wouldn't be around to use them for long anyways, so there was hardly a point. As soon as they took their places with the rest of them, Regina slowly crept from the bush staying low and off the dirt road leading straight to the gate. It was time to make her move. 

Regina pulled a small pouch from her belt and untied it, letting it fall open. Inside, was a small mound of purple dust that had taken her all day to compose. She'd gotten the recipe from Maleficent, though she'd had to improvise on a few things. Amazingly enough, the enchanted forest was not stocked with breath of a dragon, and Regina was not so bold as to knock on the witch's door and ask for some. She just hoped the effect would last long enough for their purposes. 

Regina blew the dust from the pouch and willed it towards the massive structure. She watched the dust as the trail ghosted up to the very top of the wall, gliding down into the courtyard. Regina watched as the guards slowly slumped to the ground, one by one. When the last man was softly snoring, she stood completely and waved over the men with a satisfied grin. As Robin passed, he bowed with a flourish, not missing a beat. Damn right. 

"How long do we have?" He asked in a low voice as they all approached the massive iron gate. Regina shrugged her shoulders.

"I can't be sure. An hour? Most likely less." 

Robin nodded and waved forward three men. They jammed a massive block of wood under the gate and used their combined weight on the wedge to pop the gate off. At the loud bang of the gate popping off and crashing to the ground, the Merry Men all shot glances to the sleeping guards. None awoke. After a moment more of stillness, Robin waved them on. Two men stood guard at the gate, two more remained in the courtyard. Regina, Robin, and two of his men headed into the estate. Each grabbed a torch in an attempt to light the pitch black corridor. 

Regina was surprised by how similar it looked to the castle she had lived in, only smaller. Elaborate rugs and tapestries covered every surface, and well made furniture was in every room. They passed several portraits and an shining suit of armor before they hit their first set of stone stairs. They climbed until they reached the second floor. Here, they heard the soft snores of Lord Byron in the first room to the left. Regina glanced in, taking in the weak man with disdain. Making enemies and being unable to protect himself, he deserved what he got. With a scoff, she hurried to catch up with her group. 

Robin and his men had found what they were looking for. In the farthest room to the right, lay four chests. Each was filled to the brim with gold coins. The Lord Byron collected it all from the nearby villages and towns. Far more than the taxes he was expected to collect. He would keep two of the chests for himself after delivering the other two to the king and queen. Lucky for him, he was located so far from the castle that the nearby peasants didn't have the means or the time to raise their complaints to the royal family.

Regina almost felt bad for them. 

Each of them grabbed a trunk, leaving one for her. Robin stepped forward to grab hers as well but Regina shot him a look that said absolutely not. If she was working to pay off a debt, she certainly didn't need any help with it. It didn't mean she had to be conventional about it though. She lifted her trunk easily with a whispered spell, and guided it out into the hallway, not bothering to wait for the men or inform them that she could easily take theirs too. They would catch up. She was surprised with herself, but the do gooding was actually kind of fun. Especially when she was trying to out do someone. Perhaps she was a little too competitive. 

Regina listened to the men's heavy steps as they followed behind her. Their footsteps got noticeably lighter as they passed Byron's sleeping chambers, they beyond that, the group changed to a full jog. In the courtyard, Robin's men fell in behind, as did those waiting at the gate. It had taken only thirty minutes and the Merry Men were jogging back into the underbrush, out of sight. 

\-----

"To Regina!!!" 

Regina grinned under the praise and took a swig of her beer. She had been pretty great. Everyone stopped to clap her on the back roughly at least once before sitting and getting a drink. Regina was just trying to take everything in. She'd only been in pubs a few times, but she'd never been a part of a celebration, and definitely not a guest of honor. It was totally different from anything she had ever experienced before in her life, being wanted and praised by so many people. 

And she never thought she would feel so comfortable in the environment but she loved it. It was dimly lit and crammed with people creating an endless noise that wasn't too loud, but made her feel like she wasn't alone. The wooden seats at the bar were hard, but better than the cold packed ground. And the beer warmed her up. As well as the fact that she hadn't had to buy it. 

"Well my duty is officially fulfilled," Robin said cheerfully, taking a gulp of his own mug. Regina grinned. Why was she smiling? She had no clue but she didn't want to stop. 

"Yes, you have very nobly distributed some of your wealth to the poor," Regina replied, lifting her drink. She drank the last of it in one huge gulp and stood from her seat. It was time for her to move on. She had to figure out what she was going to do with the rest of her life. That wasn't frightening at all, she thought nervously, twirling Daniel's ring on her finger. With Robin's back turned, she slipped outside into the chilly night. The streets were deserted at that time. Everyone was safe and happy in their homes, just what she wanted. 

"You don't have to leave you know," Robin offered from just behind her. Regina jumped, and turned to find the man just behind her. She met his gaze and it was so sincere she hesitated. 

"You don't want me around. I've done terrible things, and I need a fresh start," Regina said, worried she was revealing too much. The last thing she needed was for someone to figure out who she was. She wanted to forget the evil queen, but she knew others would not let her leave that life behind so easily. She'd wronged so many in her quest for revenge. Robin just laughed and ran a hand through his hair. 

"We've all been exactly where you are. Regretful and looking for a new start. That's how the Merry Men got started. If you want, you could even think about it as your penance," he wheedled.

Regina wavered. She had to admit, she was scared to go out into the world and find a place for herself. And she already kind of fit in with the Merry Men. And if they were happy to have her....She could actually see herself being happy there. Taking from the rich and giving to the poor could be her way of giving back. And if she ever decided she wanted to leave, she could. There was nothing tying her to the group of men. 

"Come on, we could really use that power of yours," he continued, sensing her weakness. "And I would be sad to see you go, Regina."

Regina scrunched her face in confusion. What? Why? Because she was a valuable asset? It couldn't be anything else. He didn't know her. He didn't know anything about her. And if he thought he could sweet talk her into telling him all of her secrets, he was dead wrong. But Regina couldn't help but hope that he did try.

"Fine, I'll stay. For now."

The wide grin on his scruffy face made her secretly glad she'd accepted.


	5. Aint It Fun

Emma sighed softly as she watched the tiny flakes shimmer in the sun light. Once upon a time, winter was one of her favorite seasons, but now Emma felt as cold as the ground outside. She pushed aside her porridge and glanced at the massive tree that had been brought into the dinning hall. A glittering star sat at it's peak, and like rain, white snow and twinkling bulbs hung down the tree to it's lowest branch. It was a beautiful thing that Emma had always taken great pleasure in helping her parents set up.

She could still remember as if it was yesterday, the first year her parents had let her put on the star all by herself. She was ten years old, almost too old to be getting along with her parents so well. But they'd had the best day. They'd gone sledding until the tips of their noses were numb, had hot chocolate by the fire in the great room, and eaten berries as they set up the bulbs around the tree.

As they were finishing up, Emma popped the last of the mulberries into her mouth and turned to her parents. They were sharing a secret, knowing glance that made her particularly suspicious. Until her father stepped forward and offered Emma the thing she'd begged for each year before. With hands shaking from excitement, Emma lifted the star from his. She couldn't believe it. She was finally going to be able to put up the star. She'd watched her father do it every year since she could remember, and she didn't know why she was fascinated by it so deeply, but she loved being the one to put the final touch, to see it all put together.

The king held the ladder steady as Emma climbed, one hand on the metal, the other holding her prize. It wobbled as she got higher but she was not to be swayed from her course. She could see the tip of the tree, just two steps away. She stretched on her tippy toes, leaning out to place the star just right. But just as she was satisfied with its stability, her own failed. Emma tipped from the ladder. And into her fathers arms. They all laughed, drunk on the holiday spirit. Emma wished she could recapture that feeling now. She would give anything for it.

But it was not meant to be.

Three months had passed since that hope filled conversation with Killian. Three months. She could hardly believe it herself, though the time dragged as though it had been years. Rumplestiltskin remained a guest with them, as did Belle and Killian. But little had changed with the situation. Perhaps Rumple had become suspicious after that night, having woken up with a sluggishness that implied a drug. It certainly seemed that way. He had not let Killian out of his sight, or capable of slipping away since that night.

He also must have found that visiting the palace was far more fun than he had originally thought. His two week stay had now turned into an indefinite stay. Emma did not know when he was leaving, and no one dared to ask. He did as he pleased, got all that he requested, and paraded Killian past Emma at every possible opportunity.

The only comfort Emma could find was that Baelfire seemed about as amused with the state of affairs as she was. He was not the most comfortable with his father hovering in his life, analyzing a marriage that he knew was far from perfect. Baelfire wanted him gone. Emma just hoped he would ask his father to leave soon, because she did not think she could take another day of the torture. And how was she supposed to fake a happy holiday with her new family if she hated the lot of them?

Even all of this would be bearable, however, if it weren't for the one tiny fact that she was out of time. Emma had been with child for about three months and she had begun to notice the difference in her belly. It was small, the growth, but all too soon her husband would notice the change. She would have to tell him soon. The moment she had been dreading since Gram had told her the news had finally arrived and Emma could hardly stomach the reality of it. She would have to play happy expecting parent with Baelfire.

Killian would learn the news soon after and he would have to believe that Emma was carrying Baelfire's child. What if he gave up on her after that? Or thought lesser of her? Or just didn't want to deal with that extra hoop to jump through? She knew he loved her but without his heart, how hard would he truly fight to get her back? It worried her almost as much as the fate of her child once Rumple learned of its existence.

Emma gently rubbed her stomach and glanced over at her husband. He wouldn't look at her. He was upset about the little attention she afforded him, and the presence of his father. She could see the pout in his lips. For the millionth time, she felt a twinge of sympathy for him. He didn't know half of what was going on, just a puppet in a larger game.

She needed to speak with her mother and father. Maybe they could help her feel like her life was less out of control, help her breathe easier, because lately the panic had been rising in her belly and she didn't know what to do. Swallowing the worry in her throat, Emma turned to Baelfire and cleared her throat rather loudly.

"I'll be taking tea in the sitting room with my parents," Emma said politely, standing. Baelfire nodded but did not meet her gaze. Oh well, she couldn't say that she preferred him when he was begging for her time.

\-----

Killian wasn't really sure about how deeply he was lacking in terms of feelings, but he did know that there was one thing he was not immune to: boredom. Sitting endlessly in different rooms of the palace as Rumplestiltskin took tea with Belle, and patronized the king and queen was driving him slightly mad. If he was even capable of that anymore.

All Killian knew was that he hated being bored. This left him with endless hours to think about The Dark One's weaknesses his own advantages. As of yet, Killian had come to the conclusion that the crocodile had no weaknesses aside from his wife and son. But Killian could not think of a single way in which he would be able to utilize these for his own gain. And if he could somehow scrape together a bloody plan, he was incapable of causing either of them any harm of any kind, not that he wished to.

And his own advantages were scarce. Killian had previously thought that he could find freedom in loopholes, but after his night out with Emma, he could tell that the crocodile had become suspicious. He had not let the pirate out of his sight since, and Killian was beginning to worry about the effect it would have on their plan. As in they could not form one if he could not meet with Emma.

Emma. Another point of concern for him. He did not know how she was taking everything. The extended stay, Killian's absence. How long would it be before Emma gave up and simply decided to commit to her husband, awful as he was. Killian knew it was illogical, Emma clearly loved him, but there was so much at stake. Her family, her kingdom, it was all in danger if she did not comply.

Killian sighed. Three months and still not a single original thought.

\-----

The moment the door to the sitting room shut behind Emma, the tears began to form. Her parents were on their feet instantly. She felt horrible that they had to be so worried about her, and that only made the tears come faster as she sat a paisley pink love seat, her mother knelt at her side, holding her hand, and her father hovering behind Snow. 

"I have to tell him," Emma whispered, wiping her cheeks. "I have to tell Baelfire about the baby. I've begun to show," Emma explained. She could see her blurry parents share a worried glance. 

"You might be right," her mother admitted sadly as they all glanced at her stomach. "But there has to be something we can do to postpone it a little longer." Her parents sat down across from her, holding hands tightly. She pushed away the pang of jealousy that rose up at their togetherness. 

"I just don't know what else to do," Emma said. "I'm worried what will happen once everyone knows of the baby, but they'll know soon enough regardless of whether or not I tell." Emma fiddled with the end of her braid, looping the hairs around her thumb. 

"Perhaps you could fake sickness. That could get us a week to think of something," her father suggested. "Snow was ill when she was with child, so it wouldn't be to difficult for you to fake for a bit, right?" Emma nodded reluctantly. 

"But that would only get us a week. Its been months. If we haven't thought of anything yet, what makes you think we will now?" 

Emma hadn't meant to sound so doom and gloom in her response, but the time was beginning to wear on Emma. She just wanted to be happy. She wanted to wake up next to Killian and have lazy mornings in bed. She wanted him to be excited with her. They were having a baby. He should have been gently feeling her stomach, hoping for a kick, not trailing after a mad man without a heart and any knowledge of his coming child. The unfairness of it all was suffocating. 

"We have a plan," Snow admitted reluctantly. "We hadn't wanted it to come to this but..." she met her husbands eyes and Emma began to worry. What was so flawed about this plan that they hadn't thought to even mention it until now. "It would require that we leave."

"What? Why?!?!" They couldn't leave, Emma thought as she shot out of her seat. What would she do without them there to keep her sane? Her parents tried to stay calm, she could see it, but they had the look of a rabbit that had been backed into a corner. Desperate. 

"We've been sending out inquiries for some time," her father began carefully."We think we may have found someone who can help us, but we would have to leave her to find them, enlist their help. And it would be dangerous."

"We'd been putting it off because we were so worried about you," Snow cut in, "But now there's no more time. If you want to protect the baby from Rumplestiltskin, then we have to leave." Her mother looked up at her and Emma could see that they had been carrying this for some time. She could see it in the lines in her mothers face, and the slump in her father's shoulders. This was their last hope of helping their only daughter. 

Emma wanted to yell, and throw something. They'd hid this from her, and now they wanted to leave her. She was angry and hurt and she wanted to cry. This wasn't fair. She wanted to keep them near her where they were safe, where at least they had each other. She didn't want to risk losing them too, she couldn't lose them. But she couldn't make them stay. Not when she knew that her baby was coming. Not when this was the only way to keep it a secret, safe from her father in law, and from Killian. 

It would be selfish of her if she made an already painful situation more difficult becuase of her own feelings. Especially when she knew how necessary it actually was. She needed to be grateful to her parents that they would go to such lengths for her. She tried to focus on that one positive thought as she lurched forward and wrapped her arms around the both of them. 

"Please come back to me," she whispered into their ears, trying to enjoy the feeling of their arms around her one last time before they left. 

She would have to be strong until they returned. 

\-----

Under the guise of visiting friends, the king and queen departed the next morning, the servants gathered, and Rumplestiltskin watching with suspicion as Emma said goodbye. She could feel his eyes on them but she hardly cared. He had taken everything from her already, he wouldn't take her goodbye too. 

"Stay safe," her father whispered as he pulled her into a gentle hug. He hadn't squeezed her tight since he'd heard about the baby. He was scared of hurting it, she supposed, which was sweet, but she would be glad to get those bone crushing hugs back. Her mother did not disappoint. 

"We love you," She said as she squeezed the air out of Emma. 

With tearful smiles all around, and the bored look on Baelfire's face as he waved goodbye to his in-laws, Snow and James climbed into the carriage and waved through the window until the horses had pulled it out of sight. Soon even the cloud of dust was gone from sight. Then only Emma and Baelfire remained, and she could see that he was ready to return inside. 

"Ready my dear?" He asked, placing a hand on her back and leading her inside without waiting for a response. Baelfire was raised without loving parents so she was sure he didn't understand what it meant to miss them when they left. She ought to have felt bad for him, but she was fresh out of sympathy. 

"Yes dear," she replied, not that he was likely listening. 

\-----

Ruby watched the king and queen go from the window in Emma's bedroom as her parents departed. Emma had informed Ruby of the plan, but she just wished there was more she could do for to help than play nurse maid. She was no good at sitting idly by and worrying, but it sounded as though that was what they would be doing. With a sigh, Ruby sat down on her friend's bed and waited. 

It was another hour or so before Emma rushed into her room, grin on her face. The princess looked like she was ready to laugh, and that absolutely shocked Ruby. Emma hadn't been exactly happy since everything that had happened, so she couldn't imagine what had brought on the change. "What happened?" Emma only smiled and sat beside her friend, wiping her mouth. 

"I had to be ill in front of a witness to claim that I'm sick." Emma shot Ruby a sneaky smile. "So I grabbed an egg, because the smell has made me nauseous since," she waved to her stomach, "and then I threw up in the dining hall in front of Baelfire and Rumple and Belle, and even Killian, and gosh Ruby I wish you could have seen their faces, it was priceless. They were so shocked. But Belle was sweet. She helped me out, and the second I shook her off, I sprinted here." Emma sighed, content for a moment, and Ruby joined her in the happiness, not wanting to bring her back down. 

"Look at you spilling out your guts for the cause," Ruby teased. "You did good kid." Emma smiled proudly and leaned her head on Ruby's shoulder. 

"How have you been? And Graham?" She must have sensed Ruby's hesitation. She hadn't wanted to talk to Emma about Graham. She thought it would have been insensitive considering everything. But Emma insisted. "Please? I could really use the distraction, and I love hearing about how happy you both are." 

She looked up at Ruby with such sincerity that the girl broke in under a minute. It wasn't as though she had to be tortured to talk about the man who she was in love with. She was pretty sure that if Killian wasn't in danger, Ruby would spend all day talking to Emma about every tiny thing Graham did, no matter how inconsequential. 

"Fiiine. If you insist," Ruby said with a grin. "We're really great. I never thought I would find anyone who understands me so perfectly but he does, and he doesn't try to change me, or pin me down. He's just perfect. Except he snores like a beast. But besides that," she shrugged and they both laughed. 

"Has he brought up marriage again?" Emma asked, lying down. Ruby stretched out next to her staring up at the ceiling. 

"No, but I'm sure when he does, I'll be ready," she said with certainty. Graham wouldn't try again until he was sure it was time. "Then we'll be married in the forest, with just a few special guests, and one princess maid of honor," Ruby nudged Emma with a grin. 

The girls laughed and talked late into the night, Ruby glad that she could help, if only a bit.

\----

One week passed dreadfully slow, and Emma was sure that she would die of boredom in her chambers. Ruby was a doll and she really did try to keep Emma's spirits up, but after the first day, the princess missed her parents. The king and queen had not sent word about their mission, and Emma was beginning to think that something had happened to them. Her week was over and she would have to stop fending off visits from her husband very soon. She knew he was only a day or two away from calling in a professional to diagnose her. Then what would she do?

Uttering a groan, she stormed out onto her balcony and looked out at the forest before her. She knew just beyond those hills, the ocean called. She could imagine the breeze running through her loose hair, the gentle rock of a boat, the constant splash of water lapping against the wood. She even swore for a moment that she smelled the salty air reaching her nose. It caused an ache in her chest that made her want to sob. She missed Killian. She missed being carefree with him, laughing and smiling and kissing. It was a physical pain that she couldn't endure for much longer. Coupled with the absence of her parents, and the uncertainty of what had become of them, Emma was sure she'd be certifiably insane by the end of the night. 

Ruby could sense her pent up anxieties and pain, but there was nothing her friend could do but stand by and watch it all unfold. Emma had finally sent her friend away that morning, ordering that she spend the day with Graham. The girl obviously needed a break, and Emma, if she was being honest with herself, just wanted to be alone with her anxiety and misery for a bit. 

She breathed in deeply once more, trying to catch a whiff of that scent once more, but it was gone. With a sigh, the princess leaned her elbows on the balcony and let her eyes slip shut. She imagined that some magic solution would present itself. Rumplestiltskin and Baelfire would disappear, her parents would return, and Killian's heart would find its way back into his chest. Then they would immediately be married and live happily ever after. The image was so perfect in her mind, so beautiful, it nearly brought her to tears. But she knew that things didn't always work out like that. 

She thought of Regina, who was somewhere out there spreading her misery no doubt. Regina had surely been a good person before the death of her lover, but that loss had changed her. It had twisted her mind. While Emma knew that she would never be like Regina, she also knew that she and Killian were not exempt from the difficulties of life. He could die at any moment. For all she knew he could have been killed the moment she had decided to lock herself in her room. She needed to be realistic. 

Turning from the balcony in frustration, Emma charged back into her room, almost letting out a cry of shock when she saw that a man was now sitting placidly on her bed. Well perhaps man was not the best word. It was a boy, just on the cusp of manhood. He still had his youthful face, but there was something unnerving about looking directly at him. Emma didn't know who he was, or what he was doing in her bedchambers, but she had a zero tolerance policy for strangers appearing out of thin air. Before he could say a word, she rushed over to her closet to grab her sword, only to find it missing. 

"Don't worry. This wouldn't have hurt me anyways," the boy called to her. Emma peeked back at him to see that he was casually weighing her sword in his hand. What the hell was going on? She already had so much to worry about, and now there was a strange boy taunting her in her bed chambers. 

And yet, this was the most interesting thing that had happened to her in a week. Perhaps he could be a good distraction from the troubles that had been plaguing her of late. Perhaps he could even help. Emma thought that was a bit of a stretch, but it couldn't hurt to talk to him, right?

"Who are you and why are you here?" Emma stepped out before him, arms crossed. She wasn't afraid of him and she needed him to know it in case he had come to take advantage of her. Even without a sword she could put up a fight. 

"To the point," he noted, dropping her sword to the floor. "I like that." he smiled in the most unsettling manner and stood to meet her. "I'm Pan, Peter Pan. And I think I am the perfect person to help you Emma. That is, if you want to make a deal." 

\-----

Killian had finally had his original thought. 

Emma was surely miserable. She was married to a man she didn't love, being held hostage by the Dark One, and her parents had left on some odd visit for no apparently pressing reason. She had been ill for a week, though he suspected that she was faking. He needed to do something to help her. He could no longer stand the boredom and helplessness that accompanied being Rumplestiltskin's plaything. 

He'd already deduced that he would not be able to get away for any amount of time, not with the Dark One being so careful. And without meeting with Emma, he would never be able to gain his freedom they way they both wanted, so he would have to gain his freedom in a different way. Killian was going to have to kill himself. 

It wasn't as though he wanted to die in particular. The problem was that he didn't want anything in particular. He had been effectively numbed to the world and all of the pleasure, and pain, that it had to offer. Even he knew that was no way to live, especially after the adventurous life that he'd lived before it all. Especially after the love he knew he'd had with Emma. 

And he hated knowing that he was hurting her. Every time she saw him, he could see the pain in her eyes. He was doing that her her and the Dark One was forcing him. If after months, neither of them had been able to think of a plan, what was the real likely hood that they ever would? Perhaps just this once, the bad guy was going to win in the end. They would just have to learn to live with it. 

And Killian was sure that Emma would get over him. She loved him, he knew, so she would hurt when news reached her of his death, but would that be any worse than the hurt that he was inflicting on her each day that he remained under the Dark One's control? In the long run, he was helping her, and even if she hated him for it now, she would eventually see that he was only trying to help. 

Killian had even planned it out already. The Dark One gave him orders to retrieve their lunch each day and bring it to the sitting room where he and Belle ate alone. After the drugging incident, he had begun speaking much more carefully when telling Killian what to do. He always ordered that the food not be tampered with in any way, and that Killian return quickly without speaking to anyone about anything. Those instructions alone made it rather difficult for Killian to do much of anything. 

But the Dark One had left one loophole in which Killian could operate. He never ordered Killian to refrain from harming himself. And why would he? The Dark One had no reason to believe that Killian was suicidal. So really it was perfect. Killian would go down to the kitchen to retrieve their food in a couple of hours, then as he gathered it all up, he would simply snatch one of the knives and cut his wrists. It would be relatively painless and the Dark One would be completely unaware until the very last moment. 

It was the perfect plan. 

\-----

Emma wanted to laugh and cry and scream. She couldn't believe her ears. Some boy, though she could tell from the glint in his eyes that he was far from innocent, had appeared in her bedroom out of no where and offered her the world. He was likely asking for something that she could never accomplish but she was still amazed that this opportunity had presented itself. It was too good to be true. He was grinning like a cheshire cat, likely because there was much she knew he wasn't telling her, but at least now she had an option. Maybe. 

"Let me get this straight," Emma began, pacing in her bedroom as Peter waved a hand from his seat on her bed. "You have a vested interest in Rumplestiltskin, which you wont divest," she muttered the last part with a bit of annoyance. She tended to err on the nosy side. "But he is warded against you, so you cant go near him. But you have the power to take Killian's heart and give it back to him, which you will do, if I can get you near Rumplestiltskin?" Emma shot him a confused look. 

"That's right. All you have to do is clear a path," he said calmly. Emma scoffed and crossed her arms. 

He had to be kidding. That man was the Dark One. Nothing was easy where he was concerned. And she would not admit that she was weak, she wasn't, but in comparison to him, she had no power. How could she possibly force him to do something he didn't want to do? "And how do you expect me to do that? With all of the magic I clearly posses?" she asked sarcastically, waving a hand in the air. Pan only smiled that awkward way that he did and stood. 

"I've even taken care of that," he explained, pulling a small pouch from his pant pocket. It was worn and tied shut with fraying twine, and so small it fit in the palm of his hand. Then her hand as he grabbed it and placed the pouch in Emma's palm. She yanked her hand away immediately and took a step back. He was offering her a magic solution to everything, but that didn't mean she would trust him. She was no fool. 

"All you have to do is get that on him, and I'll be able to approach him. Then I'll get your lover boy's heart and return it to you. Easy peasy." The boy smirked and Emma wanted to hit him. She couldn't believe her ears. 

"Easy? Do you think we're the best of friends after he ruined my life? How in the world am I supposed to get this on him without him being incredibly suspicious of the fact that I'm suddenly not repulsed by being within five feet of him?"

Pan shrugged and stepped around her. "That isn't my problem." Emma turned and watched as he stepped out onto her balcony and hoisted his slim frame onto the railing with ease. "Oh, and do it today," he added, turning her head toward her just the slightest. "Or I'll find someone else to do it. And if I'm on indebted to you, then I'll definitely have a score to settle with Hook." 

Then he stepped of the balcony and fell. 

Emma rushed to the edge and looked over, but the boy was gone. She looked down at the pouch that still rested in her palm and could not believe what was happening. She didn't know whether to be screaming from joy or fear. Some stranger had just appeared at the eleventh hour and offered her a solution to everything, but how did she know she could trust him?

And clearly he had known Killian at some point, though it didn't sound like they had been friends. So how could she be sure this wasn't all a ploy so that yet another villain could get their claws on the pirate? But if Rumple was warded against him, didn't that make Pan a good guy by default? Or did that just make him a more deadly enemy than even the Dark One? How could she possible know?

Emma trailed back into her chambers, eyes fixed on the small pouch. One thing was for sure, she had to make a decision soon or there was no telling what would happen. And she would lose her one chance at getting Killian back before everyone would know about her condition. She really had no choice in the matter. She would do whatever it took to protect her unborn child and Killian. 

Closing her fist tightly around the pouch, Emma steeled herself for what she was about to do. 

\-----

Belle fluffed and smoothed her skirts one last time before stepping out into the corridor. She was already running late for her lunch date with Rumple so she walked quickly past guards and maids, smiling brightly on her way to their sitting room. Of course it wasn't theirs, but Rumple had taken a liking to that one in particular, and so they tended to take their lunch there each afternoon. 

And it had grown on Belle as well. She had taken to doing her heading and stitching in there because of the wonderful lighting and stuffed chairs. And sometimes, Rumple would sit beside her and read his own book. They would relax and enjoy their companionable silence that she had come to look forward to very much. 

As Belle was thinking about the last time they had gotten to spend the afternoon reading together, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She was pleased to find that it was Emma. And surprised to find that the princess was actually smiling for once. Not that she was a dour girl, Belle knew that wasn't it from countless stories that other had told her, but lately the princess had been feeling rather down. It was understandable given the circumstances that preceded her speedy marriage. 

But now the woman looked happier than she had in months, and Belle had no idea what to make of it. But she was hardly one to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially when Emma had been feeling so ill those last few days. So she smiled back at Emma just as brightly and invited the woman to walk with her. 

"You're looking good today Emma. Are you finally feeling better?" Belle inquired thoughtfully. 

"Oh definitely, thanks. I was actually looking for you," Emma explained somewhat nervously. Belle almost missed a step as she thought back to when the two first met. She'd tried to convince Emma to go back to Killian, to find a way out of the marriage that she had landed into. Belle suddenly felt like Emma was about to ask her for help with it all. And as nervous as she was about being unable to help, she was also excited at the thought of the new challenge. As lovely and calm as things had been lately, Belle was beginning to grow bored. 

"Oh? What about?" she asked innocently, crossing her fingers. Emma glanced down at her hand, before meeting Belle's gaze. She couldn't tell what the princess was holding but clearly it was the subject of the conversation.

"Well, its just that you've been so kind to me since the very beginning, and you've been so supportive, that I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart." Both of the women stopped walking to face each other as Emma continued. "You and Rumplestiltskin and Baelfire. So I wanted to repay you all somehow." Belle had been hoping for something a little different, but she was touched none the less. She took Emma's hands in her own, and squeezed them. 

"You don't have to do anything for us," she reassured, "we're just happy to be here as family." Emma shook her head instantly and stepped closer. 

"But I wanted to do something. You've all done so much for me. So I decided to make you all charms, for good luck. They aren't too pretty," she said apologetically as she pulled her hands away and offered Belle a small pouch. "But I got some help and they're supposed to be effective. This one is for Rumplestiltskin, and I'm still working on yours and Bae's." Belle smiled softly at the incredible thoughtfulness of the gift. Emma really was one of a kind. 

"Would you like to join us for lunch then? You could give it to him in person," Belle offered, holding her arm for Emma to take. But the princess hesitated. 

"I was actually hoping you could give it to him..." Emma trailed on, looking away. "We got off to a pretty rocky start, and I'm worried he won't accept it if he know's it's from me..." 

Belle opened her mouth to deny it but all that came out was a laugh. Even she couldn't deny that her husband could be incredibly difficult. He held grudges over the silliest things, and was prone to pettiness. He was a work in progress, she thought amusingly. So instead she offered her palm to Emma. "I can give it to him if you'd like, and tell him it's from me." Emma met her gaze with wide excited eyes.

"You'd do that for me?" Emma asked excitedly. Belle couldn't help but laugh. It was such a small thing after all. 

"Ofcourse," she said. Just as she finished speaking, Emma rushed forward and pulled her into a tight hug. 

"Thank you so much," she said into the woman's hair, but Belle heard it, and she happily patted Emma's back in acknowledgment. 

"It's no problem." Belle pulled away, taking the charm from Emma. "I'll be expecting mine soon," she teased as she continued to the sitting room. Emma laughed and nodded as Belle hurried on. She was running very very late. 

\-----

Killian greeted her with his usual smile when she walked into the room. He never said much, but she had grown quite fond of him over the last few months. He was always in the background, happy to help with anything they needed. He seemed to have really taken a shining to working for her husband. She wouldn't be surprised if they became friends, she thought with a smile. 

Rumplestiltskin greeted her with a large grin and a kiss on the cheek. Belle placed one hand on his shoulder as he kissed her, and allowed the other to slip the charm into his open jacket pocket. Then they both sat together on the love seat and she felt rather sneaky for a moment. That was perhaps the most exciting thing Belle had done in weeks, and she couldn't wait to brag to Rumple about how sly she had been, later in the afternoon when he would inevitably find the pouch. He was keen, that Rumple.

"You can fetch our meal then," Rumple called to Killian. Belle smiled at him but he suddenly looked very grim for some reason as he turned towards the door.

"Oh, that really wont be necessary."

Belle jumped in surprise as a boy had suddenly appeared at the door. Killian stared at the boy with a sort of detached bewilderment that she didn't understand. But even more surprising was the response that had been elicited from her husband. Rumplestiltskin sat stiff as a board beside her, staring at the stranger with wide, alarmed eyes.


	6. New Obsession

A few months with the Merry men and Regina was no longer so sure on where she stood. She had been glad to take Robin's offer and stay with the group, but she wished he would have given her a full itinerary before signing her on. Regina had had no idea what she was getting into, and it was taking longer than she had anticipated for her to adjust.

First there was the matter of hunting. Now Regina was in no way squeamish, so the killing of the animals wasn't the problem, it was more the boredom. As queen, Regina had eaten whatever her heart had desired, whenever. She could have the best chefs prepare the same dish a dozen different ways. But in the forest, there were limited resources, and only one way to cook anything. By campfire. And forget seasonings, because the men had none of that.

And there was also the lack of privacy that really got under her skin. They procured for her a tent and some basic supplies, but the tent was the only place in which she was safe from interaction. Crazy, but sometimes the evil queen just wasn't in a good mood first thing in the morning, when those mountain men were singing wildly off tune songs at sunrise. So the Merry men had learned that attempting to coax her from her tent before she was ready, resulted in temporary sickness caused by magic. Regina didn't feel too bad about that because Robin was feeling better by midday.

But she could only stay in her tent for so long. It fit her bed roll, a bag with spare clothing, and a few extra inches of space in every direction, but that was nothing compared to the palace that she once lived in. Getting dressed in the morning included much fumbling, falling over, staying on her knees, and awkwardly arranging her arms. While the men could stroll about in next to nothing, she had not reached that level of comfort. She was still a lady.

Anywhere in the forest, however, was free game. And it wasn't as though all of the men were constantly vying for her attention, it was mostly Robin. Regina got the feeling that he didn't get to meet new people all that often, and so he was trying to squeeze every ounce of interesting information out of her as he could. She had remained tight lipped thus far. They were a nice purpose at the moment, but no need to get too attached to them.

There was the tiniest flaw with that. Regina had already gotten the slightest bit attached to one fellow in the crew. Most of the men seemed like hulking, good intentioned folk, but one of the Merry men stood apart and that appealed to Regina in an odd way. Will Scarlet was smaller than the other men, and he kept to himself more than the others. He also stood apart from the rest in that he asked nothing of her past. So this was how Regina made her first friend.

She was actually surprised by herself when she realized that it was happening, friendship. She had never really had any friends who she actually cared for, but Scarlet was a different case. She knew he wouldn't double cross her, none of them would as long as they remained ignorant to her true identity, so she could trust him. This in itself was altogether new. And he was funny. It had been so long since she had laughed and enjoyed herself, she'd missed it, deep down, even as she relished in her misery.

So with all of the pros and cons of the Merry Men before her, she found that she was actually quite enjoying herself. Regina had never been part of a group that was so tight knit and positive. They actually seemed to want her around and they made her feel welcome. Regina hadn't felt anything like that in ages. It was amazing. So even as she told herself that she would probably leave one day and find that conventional happy ending, she knew that there was a chance her happy ending was right there as they sat at the campfire and lazily ate dinner. She had never been a conventional woman, why start then.

One of the men on the other side of the campfire had a bit too much to drink and began singing probably the same tune they all sang in the morning as they got dressed. She couldn't honestly tell since a dying cat had a better singing voice than the man. Will was apparently of a similar sentiment. She could see the annoyance on his face as the man sat beside her, quail on a stick in his hand. She had already eaten hers, stick discarded, and was relaxing for a while longer by the warmth of the fire before retreating to her tent.

"I'm going to introduce a rock to his skull if he doesn't stop that bloody awful singing," he muttered, taking a large bite of his bird. Regina chuckled. He was kidding. Probably.

"I'll help," she offered, catching Robin's eye from across the flames. The man winked at her before standing and helping the drunken singer to his tent. Regina felt an odd twist in her stomach at the gesture, but quickly squashed it as the men disappeared into the brush. Robin was really trying to complicate her simple happiness.

"These bastards are so lucky I've got no where better to be," Will joked. Regina nodded in agreement and they lapsed into a comfortable silence, another reason she was so fond of Will. She never needed to talk around him. Either they did or they didn't. And most of the time, if she had nothing to say, Will would ramble on about some bloke he stole some thing from that time, which she didn't mind because his stories were always quite entertaining.

But Regina thought there was one reason that she truly felt she had a bond with the man. While Robin had told her that all of the Merry Men had come in search of their second chance, Regina could see it most clearly in Will. She could see the pain and regret just below the surface, still fresh, and she could relate to that. She didn't exactly feel regret, because she had done what she had to to move on, but she had felt that pain. She'd felt nothing but pain for years, trying to come to terms with losing her true love.

And after everything, she felt the pain of leaving everything she had ever known. She gave up her way of life so that she might be able to find a little bit of happiness somewhere, somehow, and that was terrifying and painful and everyday she thought at least once, maybe she could go back. And she felt that same struggle within Will. He was fighting for his own life too, and even though neither of them spoke of their pains, they were both aware.

With a sigh, Regina stood, taking one last look at the now pitiful fire. She nodded to will and stepped away from the embers, not bothering to see if her friend nodded back. Her thoughts had taken a gloomy turn, once again, and she knew one of the best ways to banish them was sleep. So she trudged to her tent, planted on the outskirts of their camp always.

The moon offered little light in the near pitch black forest, so it was slow going as Regina edged between bushes and trees, trying to pin down her tent. When she thought she say a vaguely triangular shape that could very well be it, she sped up slightly. Suddenly, she was very tired. She just wanted the fresh feeling she got in the morning, like she could do anything, be anyone. Not the dark and pained Regina that came with the setting sun.

When she reached her tent, she quickly slipped inside, sliding the flap shut behind her. She didn't bother slipping offer her dress. She just stretched out on her mat, letting her eyes slip shut. There was an odd smell that had permeated her tent somehow, but she ignored it and drifted off without another thought.

\-----

Regina woke, what felt like only a moment later. Probably because it had been only a moment since she had drifted off. And the hand that was shaking her shoulder was not, in that moment, her favorite thing. With what she was embarrassed to admit sounded a lot like a growl, Regina knocked it away and turned to her other side, away from the offender. She was too tired to think about someone coming into her tent. She just wanted them to leave her alone until a reasonable hour. Like midday.

But that stupid hand was back, once again, shaking her shoulder more firmly this time. Regina sat up in a flash and held the man against the all of her tent with a wave of her hand. She hadn't wanted to use magic but clearly they had left her no choice. Robin had left her no choice. Realizing who it was, Regina reluctantly let the seemingly unaffected man go, crossing her arms and thanking whoever that she had left her gown on.

Robin took it like a sport, probably because he knew he was in her tent, but he didn't even make a fuss after. Regina could appreciate that. She wasn't a fan of whiners. Even though she had to admit that she whined quite a bit in her head. Not that she would ever admit that out loud. "What are you doing in my tent?" She asked sharply. She glared at him, expecting that he would then begin to break a sweat, what could she say, she liked to intimidate, but he had the gall to laugh at her.

"Your tent?" He asked, still smiling wide. She resented that smile. And also tried to memorize it.

"Yes, my tent. What are you doing here?" Robin crossed his own arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Well after helping Johnny get back to his bed after drinking a bit too much, I thought I would get some shut eye as well. In my tent. Which is where we are," Robin pointed out.

Regina opened her mouth to argue but froze. Those were men's clothes on the floor in the corner. And that smell that had filled up the tent did smell an awful lot like Robin. And the tent they were sitting in did seem to be slightly larger than hers. Though even with the extra space, they were still alarmingly close. Why hadn't she noticed? She could see the freckles on his nose, maybe count them.

Hiding her embarrassment and discomfort at their proximity, Regina quickly crawled out of the tent, standing and putting the utmost attention into brushing some dirt off of her skirt. Robin followed quickly. "You don't have to be embarrassed," he began amicably. But Regina would be having none of that.

"I do not get embarrassed," she said through gritted teeth, turning on him. "Only upset I was disturbed while trying to sleep. I'm going now." Regina turned abruptly and began towards her own tent, hoping non of the men in tents near by had heard.

"I can walk you," Robin offered, "I would hate for you to get mixed up again." His teasing tone only made her ignore him and speed up her pace. She was not embarrassed.

Regina told herself this over and over again as she stormed back to her tent and angrily threw herself on her bed roll. Yes her shoulder would hurt in the morning, but she wouldn't think about that. She didn't want to lose the anger that she currently had building in her. Anger at herself for making such a stupid mistake, and anger at Robin for making fun of her. How dare he?

Didn't he know what she was capable of?

And just like that her anger dissipated. No, he didn't. She didn't want him to ever know what she had done, or who she had been. And where Robin was concerned, she wasn't even sure she was capable of the same wickedness as she would have been a few short weeks ago. He had somehow gotten her to care about him the teeniest bit and she didn't think she could genuinely hurt him, or any of his men, if she tried.

With a depressive sigh, Regina closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep. She didn't want to think anymore.

\-----

When the sun inevitably made its climb once again, Regina reluctantly began to wake. She tried her hardest not to think of the mortifying events of the night before, and almost succeeded, but no matter how she tried, she couldn't shake the look on Robin's face from her mind. He'd been laughing at her and it was awful and infuriating. 

With an angry grunt, Regina pulled on pants, a blouse, and a jacket. She tugged her boots on with some difficulty, realizing too late that there was someone standing at the entrance to her tent. Attempting to avoid the collision, Regina tilted to the left, one leg still up, and completely lost her balance. She would have caught herself with magic before hitting the ground, but Robin caught her easily and righted her before she could even think about it. 

Regina pulled away from his reach, one of the rods of her tent poking into her back, and crossed her arms. "What the hell are you doing here?" Robin seemed unfazed by her attitude, grin locked firmly in place. 

"I thought I'd invite you to come hunting with me. I figured letting you kill something might help the attitude," he explained with a teasing grin. 

"It definitely doesn't," she muttered, before pushing past him. She needed to get water from the stream, help with breakfast, then start packing up camp. She didn't have time for his friendly nonsense. 

"Plus I figured now we have something to talk about," he added, jogging to catch up with her. Regina rolled her eyes, not caring to wonder what he was talking about.

"We don't have anything to talk about," she replied, not missing a beat. 

"I think so. See I'm pretty curious, if you wanted to share a tent with me, why not just ask?" Regina froze. What the hell was wrong with that guy? She whirled around to give him a piece of her mind to find that he was very much in her space. So much so that she could see the flecks in his eyes that she couldn't believe she hadn't noticed before and...no, she wouldn't go there. 

Regina took a deep breath and a step back, ignoring how fast her heart was suddenly beating. "I tend to be interested in men with some semblance of personal hygiene, so I think you're safe," she said cuttingly as she turned to walk away. But for some reason, no matter what she said, he wouldn't leave. It was like have a new born puppy just trailing after her. 

"Hygiene is overrated. I'm clean enough," he said, jokingly sniffing himself and faking horror. Regina smothered a smile. 

"Clean enough for the animals you live with maybe," she muttered. Robin only shrugged. 

"It's alright if you can't admit you like me yet. I know the truth," Robin joked with a wink and walked off. Regina was fuming as she watched him go. Of course she could admit that he was objectively attractive, and maybe his personality wasn't awful, but she definitely did not like Robin. Not at all. 

\-----

It was hours later before Regina came across Will. Camp had already been disassembled and they were on the move to the next hit. She sidled up beside him as they trailed behind of the rest of the group. This had become a bit of a habit for them as Regina wasn't the fastest hiker, and she suspected Will was being kind to stay with her. She never broached the subject because she didn't think she could stand it if she found out he pitied her. 

"So Robin has to be the most obnoxious boy scout in this group, huh?" Regina began, glaring at the figure far ahead through the trees. She could tell it was him, she just knew it. 

"Nah he's a pretty ok bloke," Will responded. Regina almost tripped. Was he actually complimenting someone?

"What? You have something to say about everyone. You don't have any complaints about him?" she asked skeptically. She couldn't believe this was the same person.

"I mean, he gets something fierce when we don't listen," Will scratched his head and squinted up at the sun. "It just doesn't seem right complaining after all he's done for me." Regina scoffed. 

"He's about as fierce as that squirrel" Regina retorted. She swallowed her annoyance when Will smiled knowingly instead of responding. There was no way that the annoying, open man who had flirted with her had any hardness in him. And that was probably for the best. There was no danger for Regina if he was a pushover. That wasn't exactly her type. 

They went on walking in companionable silence. 

\----- 

Later that afternoon, Regina saw just a bit of what Will had been talking about when she was enlisted for the first time to assist on a hunt. Apparently there was a system in place in which people took turns, and while they had let her settle for a bit, it was now her turn. Robin came to her tent to retrieve her close to sun down, two men waiting behind him. He smiled warmly at her then confusion flitted over his face as his eyes raked over her. 

"Where is your bow?" Regina smiled coyly and strolled past him. 

"I don't need one."

She could see him shaking his head as he moved to head the small group. Robin lead the group into the woods quickly. Once night came they wouldn't find much. They walked in a line, spaced out a bit. The men moved swiftly and softly, despite their size, and Regina was surprised by how difficult that was to mimic. Her feet always seemed to land on a twig, They refused to land gently. And there was a rhythm to their movements that she couldn't quite imitate. Regina was by no means a clumsy person, but she hadn't had to smoothly navigate a forest or hunt before.

She slowed her pace and watched the men before her. Her eyes inevitably landed on Robin and she was shocked at the change in him. His mouth was set in a thin line, his body, bent and controlled as he fluidly moved through the forest as though he were a part of it. As Regina was unabashedly staring at his body, he suddenly froze, holding up a hand so that all of his men did the same. 

She followed his line of sight and was met with a single young deer far off between the trees, nibbling at some grass. Regina could see no sign of it's mother or any others in the area. Her gaze once again was drawn to Robin, who now had one arm reaching back ever so slowly to draw an arrow. As he nocked and drew his bow, she found herself holding her breath. The after a breath, he let it loose, and she quickly heard the dull thud of the arrow hitting its mark. 

Then Regina couldn't keep up as he, and the rest of the men, took off in a sprint toward his target. Regina kept her distance as Robin procured a small knife which he used to dig out the arrow that was sticking out of the center of the deer's chest. After returning the arrow, the men began tying the kill to take it back to camp. Regina couldn't tear her eyes from the man until the moment they made it back to camp. 

Robin immediately began assigning men to skin and cut up the meat, meanwhile he returned to his tent. Regina watched him go with a measure of disappointment. She was so surprised by that side of Robin, she hadn't thought that he had a serious bone in his body. But she really had not considered the fact that he was technically the leader of the merry men. 

She rested on a log, watching the men skin the animal. But her mind once again drifted to Robin and his smooth movements. The set of jaw as he spotted his target. The length and strength of his arms as he pulled arrow back, then easy release. She was taken aback by the coolness and ease with which he lead and maneuvered the forest. 

Regina did not place much value in men. They were playthings, used to scratch an itch, nothing more. Not since Daniel could they ever be anything more. But she could at least admit that she had underestimated Robin. She had mistaken his kindness for weakness, but he was not weak at all. In fact, he could actually be deserving of some of her respect. Except that he also seemed to think- 

Suddenly someone took a seat beside her, pulling her from her thoughts. She glanced out of the corner to find Robin beside her, supervising his men. He seemed completely at ease, but she could see him making calculations, it was all in the eyes. "What are you planning?" she asked without thinking. She wanted to smack herself the moment the words left her mouth. She couldn't help it though. She knew she was attracted to him and that made him dangerous, but she also enjoyed most of their conversations, even if he was a jerk. 

"Just thinking that this should be enough to get us to our next job," he replied almost absent mindedly, still watching his men. Then he seemed to blink and the easy going man was back, all of his attention focused on Regina. It almost knocked her back, in that moment. The way he looked at her like he was interested in what she said, the openness, the lack of fear, no other man had ever looked at her like that. They never saw past the evil queen to Regina. 

"So you think the next kill will be yours?" He teased amicably. "I'm sure that magic would be a huge help." Regina rolled her eyes. 

"I dont know, I'm pretty sure using my magic for that would be cheating. Maybe I should take up the bow and arrow too," Regina said absentmindedly as she brushed the dirt from her hands. Her mind flickered back to the way that Robin had used them so efficiently. 

"Well it couldn't hurt." Robin seemed to consider this for a moment before nodding to himself and standing. "Let's go, Regina." 

He began walking a way away from the fire, and he stooped to pick something up that she couldn't make out. From the distance. She wasn't exactly sold on getting up. "What? Are you scared?" The sound of Robin's teasing laughter was enough to launch her from her seat. The Evil Queen feared nothing. Regina met him where he waited, just a few meters from the fire's light. She could just barely make out the bow in his hand. What the hell was he thinking? 

"I don't know how to break it to you, but I don't have night vision," Regina said sarcastically, crossing her arms. 

"Haha. I'm just going to show you how to hold it, so relax," Robin explained, stepping closer. Regina scowled at him as he came closer, not wanting to even let herself think about being excited. 

"Yeah yeah," she muttered as he placed the bow in her hand. His stoic face returned as he began making adjustments. He tapped her ankle with his own to get her to spread her legs a little wider. Regina did not almost fall. Then he grabbed her hips to orient them correctly. Was it her imagination or did his fingers linger for a moment longer. 

Robin stepped up behind her and adjusted her arm height with warm fingers she could feel through her sleeves. He slipped his hand over hers to fix the placement of her fingers on the bow. Then he helped her to draw the bow, showing her exactly how far to pull. "Perfect," he said in a hushed voice. Regina had to make a physical effort not to shiver as his warm breath brushed against her face. She could feel how close he was, the heat radiating from his body on her back. 

Regina glanced over and his face was so close to her own. Just a heartbeat away. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to close that gap between them more than anything, because she was sure the this man, he was something special. But she also knew that she had already had her special person, and taking another one, that was too selfish even for her. 

With a sigh, she pulled away, lowering the bow and ignoring the disappointment in Robin's eyes. He was running a hand through his hair now, trying to brush it off. She wished she didn't care about his feelings. When did that happen? Dropping the bow to the ground, Regina suddenly had an idea. Perhaps if she knew what he had done, what had inspired him to take up that second chance, maybe it would kill the stirrings in her belly. 

"Why did you join the Merry Men Robin?" The man looked taken aback by the question, but she didn't sense that there was any hesitation. 

"I lost my wife. She was killed by a wealthy man who's land we rented. I couldn't cope with the loss, so I ran away, out here, and tried to forgive and forget. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't just let it go and do nothing. So I formed the Merry Men and we've been righting wrongs just like that one ever since," he explained. He didn't seem broken down by the history, it was almost as though he had come to terms with it and moved on.

Regina sucked in a deep breath and walked away. She could not believe it. All she needed was one awful thing to hold over him in her mind, but no, he was perfect. He was suffering just like she was. He held the same pain. And for some reason, he was interested in her. Interested in her and better than her. He didn't become an evil villain and kill hundreds to get revenge. He chose the noble, good route, and tried to overcome that loss. 

Regina was done. She was not going to stick around just so she could get attached to him, maybe catch feelings for him. She could already feel that familiar excitement bubbling up inside of her, that odd sensation that she hadn't felt since she'd first visited the stables so many years ago. She stopped, not caring that she had no idea where she was in the endless forest, and pulled the ring from her corset. How could she possibly let Daniel go, move on the way that Robin had? It seemed like such an incredible betrayal, such a selfish act. Regina promised that she would remain faithful to him and it wasn't one that she intended to break. 

It was getting dark fast. She would need to find her tent and pack up quick if she wanted to sneak away from the Merry Men and get a good distance between before midnight. Regina wiped her eyes and steadied herself. As she was deciding which direction she had come from, she felt the faintest tap on her shoulder. As vulnerable and confused as Regina felt, she lashed out, shooting her hand in his chest and grabbing hold of his heart. In the dark, it took her a moment to realize that it was Robin, and another moment to realize that it would be better if she let go.

Stumbling back, trying to put distance between, she folded her arms and glared at him. "What are you doing here? Leave me alone."

"Look, I'm sorry if I said something to upset you. That all happened years ago, I've come to terms with it, so you don't have to be upset on my acc-" Regina scoffed, donning her evil queen mask for the first time in weeks. 

"Why would I be upset about you hurting? I'm here to do you little men a favor, but don't think I care about any of you," Regina said sharply. Robin frowned and stepped closer, but Regina held her ground, scowl in place. His eyes flitted to her left hand for only a moment, but she caught it, and hid her hand away. 

"I'm sorry if you went through something similar, I didn't mean to remind you of your loss," he tried again but that only made her angrier. How dare he act like he knew her. He didn't know anything about her. They had barely spoken since she'd arrived and he'd just decided that he was interested in her. No. 

"You don't know anything about what I've been through. And you definitely don't know me, not well enough to be courting me in the woods," she scolded. Robins face lost all expression as he crossed his arms and stepped closer once again. 

"I know enough. I know you're strong, independent, beautiful, and prideful. But you clearly have a soft side somewhere in there because you're here. You're helping us, and you're trying to be better than you were before. Plus you were so determined to get that ring back, that means you care about something. There's good in there." Regina rolled her eyes, but what he said next made her breath stop and blood run cold. "And I know that you were the evil queen."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Regina said, backing up. She needed to escape, but already she knew that she didn't have it in her to kill him. She was trying to be better, and she knew she couldn't take another truly good person from the world. 

"Oh please. The kingdom announces your escape, and then only a month later, you appear. A beautiful woman named Regina who could wield magic, and had a dark past. It didn't take more than a moment to figure it out." Robin looked so smug, she couldn't stand it. How had he figured her out so quickly? And what was wrong with him that he allowed her to stay, was nice to her, even pursued her? He had to be seriously sick and twisted in his head. So why did him knowing the truth only make her like him more? Would he be the only one to know her past and still look at her the way he had? So carefree and interested? She couldn't handle it, the uncertainty, the fear. 

"Then why the hell did you convince me to join you Merry gang of idiots?" She asked. Robin laughed, his smile back in place. 

"Everyone gets a second chance. No exceptions." He shrugged like it was so simple. Like it was just easy to let everyone in past that wall. Like he didn't even have a wall. "Besides, I like you. You have fire," he teased. Regina scowled. 

"I won't be with you, so you can just drop that," she stated harshly. Robin shrugged easily. 

"Then don't. If you don't like me, you shouldn't be with me. But that doesn't mean you have to run away from the Merry Men. I think we're good for you." Regina knew they were. But-

"I do like you. You remind me of Daniel," she admitted reluctantly. "But I can't be with someone else, knowing that I should have been with him. It isn't fair and I won't act like he was nothing to me. I can't." She could see him softening, she could feel the pity rolling off of him as he stepped closer. It made her want to vomit. 

"You don't have to forget him or replace him, but you deserve to be happy," he began, stretching out a hand to grab hers. He was so sincere and raw as he looked down at her and she could feel that familiar pressure building in her chest and throat. All she could think was that Daniel used to look at her like that. Regina stepped out of his reach. She just couldn't. 

"I can be happy, and I'll do it without a man." Regina continued to back away, choosing a direction at random. Ignoring Robin's protest, she turned and strode off in a random direction, hoping she was heading towards camp. She needed to get her things together and get away from those men as soon as possible. They were already affecting her. Already making her soft. Making her feel things. She couldn't stay. Regina didn't understand why tears were pushing against the backs of her eyes. She was being overly emotional, a baby. There was no reason to be so upset. He was just another man trying to push his way into her life. She'd only known him for little more than a week. He wasn't anything special. She repeated it over and over as she wiped her eyes.


	7. History

Emma gently slid the door open and slipped inside quietly, shutting it behind her. She let her eyes land on the couch where the older couple was sitting. She couldn't see Rumple's expression from behind, but she could see the stiff set of his shoulders, and the smug expression on Peter Pan's face as he stared the man down. No one said a word, they hardly seemed to notice her entrance, as the tension built. 

Her heart gave a nervous pitter patter, and suddenly she wasn't so sure about her decision. What if something went wrong? But then her eyes landed on Killian. Her chest tightened at the sight of him, the same way it had every time she'd seen him for the last few months. But beyond the pain, she felt hope. There was something in his eyes that the former pirate took in Peter pan. She could see the spark of recognition. And was that a smile forming on those tired lips? Emma hadn't seen that in some time. Emma glanced down as her right hand drifted down to her stomach. She caressed her tiny bump lovingly, hoping that soon they would meet the baby together. 

Pulling herself together, she needed to focus on the now, Emma glanced back up to find Killian's eyes fixed on her stomach. They flew to her face for a moment, then away from her entirely. Shit. There was no way he could tell, she told herself. She was being paranoid. There was no way. But before she could think about it any more, Pan made his move.

"It's been a while, Rumplestiltskin," Pan said, approaching Rumple. "I think it's time we have a little chat." The older man scoffed.

"I don't think we have anything to talk about, dearie." There was an edge to his voice that Emma had never heard before. "How are you here? I took precautions."

"Oh you know me, lots of friends," he said lightly, his gaze flickering up to Emma for a moment. Rumple's head shot around, murder in his eyes. Emma had to fight the urge to take five steps back. Perhaps he wouldn't do any real damage with Belle present. But she looked fairly confused and he was deadly. She saw killian take half a step forward, but then he froze. 

"You did this? You thought this would help you save him," Rumple bit out, pointing to Killian, who looked relatively unconcerned at the threat. "You just killed him". Rumple waved his hand, and a cloud of smoke appeared, then dissipated to reveal a red heart in the center of his hand. Gods she loved that heart. There was a single pinprick of black in its center, but it was overwhelmingly red, and Emma thought that maybe that had a little bit to do with her. Her chest tightened along with his fingers around the heart, but his hand froze when Belle lurched towards him.

"You stop right there, Rumple. What on earth do you think you're doing?" Emma held her breath, eyes flickering between the couple and Pan, who was now leaning against a sofa with an amused expression. 

"Belle, it's fine. Just let me take care of this...loose end," he ground out. Belle's eyes narrowed as she leaned forward and poked Rumplestiltskin roughly. 

"Rumple, I love you, but if you insist on doing this, it's the last straw. I'm done. I mean it." Rumplestiltskin didn't hesitate. He waved his free hand and the anger drained from Belle's face as her eyes slipped shut and her body went slack. Rumple caught her as she slumped over and she disappeared in a cloud of smoke. 

Then the Dark One turned and the fury was back on his face, aimed directly at Emma. Killian's face was devoid of any fear, he almost looked amused, but she couldn't breath. Emma felt the bile build in the back of her throat as she looked to Pan. He seemed to be equally amused with the turn of events. Rumplestiltskin met her gaze as he squeezed the heart in his hand. Killian stiffened, gasping for breath, hand flying to his throat. Emma's own heart jumped into her throat as she watched the only man she'd ever loved, the father of her child, struggle to breathe. 

"Please stop this! I'll do anything!" Emma shouted shooting forward. But Rumple shot out his other arm at her and suddenly she couldn't move. Emma searched for help, but Pan didn't seem too concerned, he looked just like a father waiting for his child to stop throwing a fit. When Killian fell to his knees, choking, Pan finally rolled his eyes and stepped forward. 

"Oh stop it. I promised her I'd let her pirate live, and you know how I feel about deals," he said, snatching the heart from Rumple's hand easily. He tossed it carelessly to Emma as he grabbed Rumplestiltskin by his shoulder and shoved him onto the love seat. Emma caught Killian's heart in her hands and gazed down at it in relief. She cradled it carefully in her hands as Killian sucked in deep breaths and fell onto his back. Emma edged towards Killian as Pan stood over a furious Rumplestiltskin.

"Thought you could hide from Daddy forever then, didn't you?" Pan teased. 

Daddy?!?!? Emma's froze. Her eyes focused on the two men. What the hell?!?!?! She looked over ate Killian, who was on the floor...laughing? He had a hand slung over his face in an attempt to cover it but was failing miserably. Was she missing something? "He finally found you," Killian got out before the laughter took hold of him once more. Pan's gaze landed on Killian and his eyes narrowed slightly. 

"I almost forgot. Consider this an act of unspeakable generosity. But if I ever see your ship in my waters again, Hook, I can promise you you'll never leave Neverland again. Understand, Pirate?" Killian sobered up enough to nod to the man. 

"Aye." Pan nodded, and turned his attention back to his...son?

"I'm tired of these games, Rumple. Let's talk." But the Dark One was having none of it. Emma continued creeping along the wall to Killian who was now standing, leaning against the wall. He looked okay, she thought. He'd definitely look better with a heart in his chest. 

"These games? This is my life, you're meddling with. These games ensure my future, my son's future," Rumplestiltskin growled. 

"Oh please. You lie like your father." Peter pan said darkly. He flicked his wrist and both the father and son were enveloped in a thick fog before they disappeared.

Emma didn't wait to dash to Killian's side and throw her arms around him. She didn't care that they both almost tumbled to the ground, she was just so glad to have him in her arms again. She had missed him so much, his smell and his voice and everything. She just felt so complete, so happy, she wanted to cry. Killian cleared his throat and pulled away slightly with a sheepish smile. 

"Emma, love, do you think you could help me out with that heart? I'd like to enjoy this bit as much as you," he said with a chuckle. 

Emma pulled away embarrassed and gently took his heart into her right hand. Of course he would want it back in place as soon as possible. Bracing her left hand on his shoulder, Emma punched her hand into his chest, gritting her teeth at the odd sensation as she pulled her hand back, one less heart. Killian grunted loudly, stumbling back. But after a moment, he looked up and she could see that he was back. 

"Emma," it was like a sigh, falling from his lips like poetry.

Nothing could have stopped them from rushing together, and when their lips touched, Emma felt as though her life had been sideways, but suddenly she was upright once more. She and Killian were together and nothing would ever tear them apart again. Pulling away, Emma realized she had some news to break. With a nervous laugh, Emma glanced down at her stomach, rubbing it gently. 

"There's something I haven't had the chance to mention..." she began nervously. Emma couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes as she formed her next words.

The door burst open all of a sudden, and Baelfire walked in, just as Emma spit out, "I'm pregnant."

\-----

Regina tried to calm her erratic breathing as she strode quickly through the forest. There was no need for her to panic. She wasn't being rash or anything. She hadn't grabbed a pack, or food, or any sort of supplies, but she would figure it out. She was Regina, the Evil Queen, nothing could take her down. 

She glanced up at the pale sky. Pink was beginning to streak across the sky, over the towering trees, hinting at the coming sunset. It would be dark soon. Regina had enough difficulty traveling through the forest during the day, she definitely wouldn't be able to do it at night. She would scrape her palms clean off form tripping over roots. 

With a sigh, Regina resolved to find a place to settle for the night. She was getting hungry, but she would just have to deal with that in the morning. For the moment, she needed to prioritize. And definitely not think about how lonely she suddenly felt, or how maybe she shouldn't have left in such a rush. 

Regina, so lost in her thoughts, stumbled over a stray root and tumbled to the ground. Regina didn't bother getting back up. She simply stretched out and resolved to watch the sky turn black. She tried not to think about the cold, hard ground against her back, and the unsettling sound of bugs buzzing in the background. 

Once again, she was consumed by thoughts of loneliness. Regina didn't know what was wrong with her. She had been on her own before, her entire life really. So why did she feel the loneliness so keenly in that moment? She refused to believe that it had anything to do with those stupid Merry Men, or their leader. Even though her brain was trying to convince her. 

No! She definitely did not miss any of that. She didn't miss the annoying group meals were someone always got far too drunk. She didn't miss the off key singing that came each morning. Okay, so she did miss Will, a little bit, but that was to be expected. They were friends, the first real one she'd had in ages. But she most definitely did not miss Robin, at all. 

She didn't miss how beautiful his eyes were, or the controlled and measured way that he moved when on the hunt. Or the way he looked at her like she hadn't done horrific, unforgivable things in her past. Sure, Regina had never even entertained the thought of finding someone who would give her that second chance the way that he'd been prepared to do, but that didn't mean that he was anything special.

Regina laid there, realizing this was probably her new rock bottom, and tried to convince herself how much better off she would be without the Merry Men in her life. She didn't need them and she definitely didn't need some noble hero coming in and making her forget about the things that mattered to her, like Daniel. 

It took hours, but eventually Regina was able to fall asleep, eyes puffy and nose runny. 

\-----

"You're pregnant?!?!?!" Baelfire shouted. Emma's mouth fell open. Fuck. 

"Yes, bu-" Baelfire rushed forward, taking Emma's hands, completely ignoring Killian and his foggy expression that was really beginning to worry Emma. 

"Emma this is amazing. I was really starting to worry with how ill you've been and all of those headaches, but this is it! We're going to be an actual family," Baelfire gushed. He looked so thrilled, he was holding Emma's hands so tightly. She felt awful. He wasn't supposed to find out like this. Emma turned to Killian who was looking a little ill. 

"Okay, I think we should sit down," Emma said unsure. Baelfire sat immediately on the love seat, patting the cushion beside him for Emma to join him. Instead, Emma grabbed Killian by the arm and forced him, because he was reluctant, to sit beside her husband. 

"Why is he here?" Baelfire asked, seeming to be just now noticing Killian's presence. Killian leaned back and crossed his arms. 

"Oh, do I need to ask your permission for the privilege, your highness?" The sarcasm was dripping from his voice. 

"I would watch your tone," Baelfire shot back. "I will be a king soon. Besides, this is a private moment between myself and my wife," he added, putting emphasis on the wife. Emma wanted to throw up just listening to it. 

"Your wife for now," Killian stated. Meeting Emma's gaze. It made her squirm. She had to look away just thinking about what he meant. Could he know it was his, or did he want to be with her regardless of who the father was. She couldn't think straight with them bickering like that. 

"I don't know what you're insinuating, but we're in love," Baelfire raised his voice, clearly heating up. He opened his mouth to say something more, but Killian began laughing so loudly that he shut it and looked away. 

"You don't know what love is. It's all consuming, it's unconditional, and forever. You don't understand that kind of devotion." Killian stated, once again locking eyes with Emma, making her heart race. "Nothing can get in the way of it." Emma cleared her throat loudly and tried not to notice the way his gaze was lingering on her stomach. 

Baelfire looked furious but she cut him off before he could begin. "Enough," Emma finally said, putting an end to it. "I am pregnant," she began, kneeling in front of Baelfire, "But it isn't yours," she whispered. Emma studied his face as the anger drained out of it. She watched the confusion flicker across his face, then the disappointment, then the anger was back. Baelfire shot out of his seat and turned on her. 

"So you cheated? Is that why you never wanted to...you know...." Emma cringed as she stood, suddenly so glad her back was to Killian. 

"I never strayed. The child was conceived before we were wed." Baelfire ran an anxious hand through his hair as he seemed to process this. Then his gaze focused behind her. Emma wanted so badly to see his expression. To see how Killian would take the news. Would he be happy?

"So that's why he's still here..." he trailed off. Emma nodded softly. Baelfire sighed loudly and looked away. "Okay, we can raise the child as our own. He can be our heir. We'll have more children. This is fine, we can get through it," Baelfire said hopefully. He stepped forward and took Emma's hands. Emma looked down at them. She couldn't look at him as she pulled away. 

"This isn't going to work, Bae. When I married you, it was because of threats made by your father. But now....I cant do it anymore." 

"But we could try. I still love you, maybe you could learn to love me," he pleaded. Emma couldn't bear it. She felt awful causing him pain, but more than anything she wanted a moment alone with the father of her child. She just wanted Baelfire to leave. 

"No, this is over," Emma said. Baelfire looked on the verge of a meltdown as he pushed past her and stormed out. The moment the door closed behind him, she sagged onto the couch beside Killian. The huge knot in her stomach was slightly smaller, but still there. She had one more hurdle to jump. 

Turning towards Killian, the love of her life, the father of her child, she just wanted to fall into his arms and have him hold her. She wanted him to tell her that everything was okay and that he would never let her go again. But she knew that they had something more important to talk about. She needed to know how he felt about their baby, because it would be joining them soon. And she had one confession that she knew she had to tell him before anything else. 

"I know this is a lot, bu-"

"Emma, you need to know that i couldn't be happier about this," Killian said excitedly cutting her off. Emma couldn't meet his eyes, they were so full of love and hope. 

"But I have to tell you, after I married Baelfire, i was...with him. I had already found out that I was pregnant and I needed to be sure that I could protect our child in case, well in case I never found out a way to free you. And I know that this is a betrayal I just need you to know that I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you or our baby," Emma rushed out nervously, twisting the end of her braid between her fingers. Her heart was beating so fast it was difficult to breathe but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. 

"Emma, it's okay," Killian murmured, placing a hand on her cheek and lifting up her face. "I love you, and I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for you to deal with all of this your your own. But I'm here now, for you and for our child," he said, placing his other hand on her stomach. Emma felt the tears building behind her eyes. "I'm going to be here, by your side, no matter what, until you send me away." 

Killian leaned forward and place a gentle kiss on her lips, wiping away the tears that had slipped free. "I'm sorry, I'm so emotional lately," Emma whispered, pulling away. 

"I think you've had good reason, love." With a soft chuckle, Killian pulled Emma into his lap and wrapped her up in his arms. 

For the first time in months she felt safe and happy, and most importantly, excited about the future.


End file.
